September 13, 2015

This is NOT your time to give up.


I’m a quick starter.

When I get an idea—whether it’s “Honey, let’s remodel the kitchen!” or “Hmm, I think I’m going to launch a new product!”—I want it done right and I want it done fast.

My over-caffeinated, speedy-delivery approach to life serves me well—most of the time.

I don’t wallow. I don’t wait for permission. While others waffle, I get things done.

The downside is that I am not especially patient.

If something doesn’t happen immediately, my instinctive tendency is to drop the idea (“Guess it wasn’t meant to be… whatever… plenty of other options… moving on!”)

I’ve had to train and self-coach myself to develop more patience—to see the rewards of waiting and knocking again, and again, and again, rather than turning away from a door just because it appears to be locked right now.

Despite years of practice, patience still doesn’t come “naturally” to me. It’s been a “learned skill,” like riding a bike or typing or twerking, not an innate one, like breathing.

They say that “we teach the lessons that we need to learn,” which is probably why so many of my clients hire me when they are feeling tired and impatient—just when they are about to give up on a big dream.

“I’ve been trying but it’s just not working.” “It’s too hard.” “I’m over it.” “I’m losing faith.” “I’m frustrated.” “It feels smarter to quit now while I’m ahead.”

The thing is, my clients don’t really want to give up. Secretly, deep down, they still want the dream to become real. But they’re tired of waiting—and understandably so. Waiting is not always fun! So they want me—the coach—to give them permission to walk away.

On very rare occasions, I do. But mostly I do not.0f1714b2ab43c3e5437ebdcf27c235a3

Instead, I say the words that they don’t want to hear: “Sorry. Nope. This is NOT your time to give up.” (Followed by: “This matters to you, right? So let’s come up with a plan so that you can keep going and enjoy the process a lot more.”)

My clients do not like this at all. Sometimes they argue with me. Often they try to convince me (aka: convince themselves) they this dream never really mattered, or that it’s pointless, it’s impossible, it’s not the right time, it’s too expensive, it’s frivolous, it’s better to just walk away.

But then later—weeks later, months later, sometimes years later—they thank me for pushing them to continue and for not giving them an easy “out.” They tell me, later, “Thank God I kept going.”

I remember their victories—victories won because of patience and persistence—when I am facing my own inner gremlins, wishing I could just quit already. I remember their successes and I feel inspired to keep marching, too.

My clients prove to me, over and over: persistence pays off. And the pay-off is usually bigger and more delicious than anything we can currently imagine.

Two more miles and you’ll complete your first half-marathon. It’s hard. So hard. Keep going. Right foot. Left foot. Breathe. Repeat. Quit now? No way. This is NOT your time to give up.

Two more years of connecting and community building and you’ll have a thriving, financially solid business with a client waiting list a mile long. It’s a long time. I know. But it will be worth it. This is NOT your time to give up.

Two more dates and whoa. Mister Forever is sitting right there at the coffee shop and he can’t believe he found you. It’s exhausting to haul yourself across town for yet another date just to face the possibility of rejection or no connection. But off you go. You want love and you will find it… if you keep going. This is NOT your time to give up.

Quitting might make you feel better, briefly and temporarily, but hey, so would an illegal painkiller! Doesn’t mean it’s good for you.

Dig deep inside and find your inner marathon-runner… your inner mountain climber… your inner Buddhist monk… the wisest part of you that knows the power of devotion and persistence. Let that part of you run the show. Let that part of you look at the evidence, consider your efforts thus far, and make the final call.

I am guessing that part of you will tell you the same thing that I would tell you if we were having lattes or curled up by the phone:

Listen to your heart.

Find a way forward.

This is NOT your time to give up.

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PS. I had to make several phone calls, post on social media, email, beg and grovel, wheel and deal, and work every connection I’ve got in order to crack into the exclusive members-only Chatham Club in Savannah, Georgia. Why? Because I knew that it would be the PERFECT venue for my 2016 conference and nothing else would do.

FINALLY… I got the venue. Persistence, baby! You can get on the first to know list HERE and receive deets as soon as they are ready in a few weeks. You’ll see why I refused to give up and if you wind up attending the event, you can thank me in person. 😉



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