February 25, 2019

RCC 27: Giving Yourself Permission to Offend with Rachel Luna

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It might feel like it’s hard to differentiate yourself in the coaching business, but that’s partly because so many coaches get stuck in vanilla-land. I love you coaches, but you have to put your true self out there – in your copy, your offerings, and your social media – if you want to attract awesome clients who really want to work with you.

Part of being yourself means giving yourself permission to offend, which is what this week’s episode is all about. I’m joined by fierce and fabulous life coach Rachel Luna to talk all about being authentic, running a business, and her journey as a life coach.

Rachel Luna is a mindset strategist, former US Marine, and firecracker with a reputation for inspiring confident action to help her clients double, triple, and quadruple their income. She’s also the host of the podcast Real Talk with Rachel Luna where she dishes on how to gain more clarity and confidence in life and business. As an international speaker, Rachel has been invited to share her powerful talks all across the globe, from the US to Europe to Japan.

Rachel and I talk about how she got her start as a life coach and why she disagrees with a lot of the conventional “wisdom” about how to start and run your business. She shares how she became a speaker by creating her own platform and why you have to be willing to invite yourself to the stages and events you want to reach. And most importantly, Rachel and I discuss giving yourself the permission to offend and how this can not only help you connect more authentically with clients, but elevate your confidence and your business.

And finally, your homework for this week is to study rapper & Grammy-winner Cardi B’s Instagram and how she connects with her audience. It will all make sense once you listen to this week’s episode, I promise!

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • Why you have to let people know who you are and where you stand if you want to stand out in business.
  • Why it’s critical to stay anchored in your “why” when things get difficult.
  • The vision Rachel had for her business that was too scary to contemplate – and how she finally decided to go for it anyway.
  • How she handled it when close people in her life didn’t understand or buy into her work as a life coach.
  • What Rachel did when she realized she wasn’t getting enough promotion from former clients.
  • How she decided to launch her own events – including a 500-person conference in Atlanta – when she realized she wanted to be an internationally renowned speaker.
  • The importance of giving yourself permission to offend other people if you want to show up in life and work as your most authentic, full self.

Listen to the Full Episode:

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Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to the Rich Coach Club, the podcast that teaches you how to build your dream coaching practice and how to significantly increase your income. If you're a coach and you're determined to start making more money, this show is for you. I'm master certified life coach Susan Hyatt, and I'm psyched for you to join me on this journey. You're listening to episode 27, here we go.

Did y'all watch the Grammys? I mean, so many of y'all skipped it. Even the silver fox, like, he went upstairs and watched some really bloody gory show, some cop show instead of watching, but honestly, if you didn't watch it, you need to go back and watch some of the replays because I felt like 2019 was the best Grammy award show in years.

And that's really saying a lot, considering that queen Beyoncé wasn't even there. Alicia Keys hosted and she just set the stage in such a positive way. She brought out for the opening, it was herself, Lady Gaga, J-Lo, Jada Pinkett Smith. Y'all, and Michelle Obama. It was such a shock.

And the female artists just ruled that award show. 31 women won awards and women were honored in 38 different categories. And listen, last year there were only 17 women that won awards. So while Scott Hyatt was upstairs watching some ridiculous cop show, I was dancing in the living room because listen, Diana Ross celebrated her 75th birthday and performed. That gave me so much life.

Hello, the Dolly Parton tribute. Cardi B, she won best rap album of the year and she's the first woman to ever do so. Sorry Nicki Minaj. And then there was Kasey Musgraves and Brandi Carlile, oh my gosh, and J-Lo did the Motown tribute, which was highly controversial, which I will be doing a whole podcast episode on that.

But what does this have to do with you and being a coach? Well listen, coaches whine and say all the time that the market is saturated - not true - and that they're scared to be vulnerable and be who they are because trolls online are so mean. That's true. But the musical landscape, that's just a great example of how there is a flavor for everyone. We live in a world where Cardi B takes the same stage as Dolly Parton and Kasey Musgraves and Brandi Carlile.

Brandi Carlile is a folk singer who is off the hook incredible. And she gave a performance that brought people to their feet. But she is a very different artist than J-Lo, and yet they're both wildly successful. The same is true in the coaching industry. So later in this episode, you'll hear me interview super coach Rachel Luna, and we discuss in detail why it's critical that you allow people to know who you are and where you stand so that you can stand out in business.

But why is it so hard? Well, we're going to discuss it. Let's discuss it. So here we go. Let's start with your two-minute pep talk.

Here's your two-minute pep talk for the week. This is the part of the show where I share some encouragement and inspiration to get your week started off right, and I try to keep things to 120 seconds or less. Alright, so I mentioned that Michelle Obama kicked off the Grammys, right?

Well, she kept it really real on her Instagram and she shared screenshots of a text exchange with her mom. So we're going to put it in the show notes but I have to read it to you. So this is a text from her mom. "I guess you were a hit at the Grammys." And then Michelle responds, "I'm sitting here with Valerie and this text is so typically you. Did you watch it?" "I saw it because Gracie called me. Did you meet any of the real stars or did you run right after you were done?"

And then Michelle says, "I told you I was going to be on it." And her mom says, "No you did not. I would have remembered that even though I don't remember much," and a bunch of laughing emojis. So then Michelle says graciously, "Well, I thought I told you," and then she says, "I am a real star, by the way," and her mom simply answers, "Yeah."

So why do I think this is so funny? Because listen y'all, if my first lady forever, best-selling author and leader of the free world, Michelle Obama gets shade from her mom, you know the rest of us will too. Now, maybe not from your mom, but maybe from a frenemy, people online, coworkers, you just will not escape judgment and criticism. You will not.

And you can handle it. These people aren't paying your bills. I was recently working with one of my mastermind groups down in Savannah and we had a slay day that included hair and makeup and a photo shoot, and it's really common for women to feel self-conscious in front of the camera and being seen in that way. Being seen fully. And hello, that's why I do it because I find that being the subject of a photography shoot, there's so much emotion that can come up for a woman about being seen.

So there was one fabulous woman who was about to have her photos taken and she showed us two possible outfits for her shoot. And she said, "Well, I brought this one," and you could kind of tell as she was showing it to us that that wasn't the one she really wanted to wear, and it was a really nice outfit, but it had this flowy cardigan that I could tell really wasn't what she wanted to put on but it was more of a "professional" look.

And then she showed us a more form-fitting outfit. It had a fitted top with a tie and some leather-like pants and it was just like, wow. And everybody of course was like, that one, and she welled up with tears and confided that she was really worried that women would look at that and judge her. Like, who does she think she is?

The photographer that I used down in Savannah, she is literally the sweetest human being, and she jumped in and was giving her a pep talk and it included saying nice things like, "You know, we're always more critical of ourselves than others are of us." That's true. And she went on to say, "Women are going to look at this picture and they're going to find the thing that they admire. Your glowing skin, your beautiful smile, they're going to look at you and think beautiful thoughts and not necessarily criticism," et cetera, et cetera.

And while that is a really beautiful thought, I had to intervene and break it down to the honest truth. There will be some people, some women who do not like you. 30% is typically the number. 30% of your people are going to love you, like I don't know, 30% to 40% are not going to care one way or the other, and then there's that 20% to 30% that no matter what you do, they're just not going to like you.

They're not going to like how you look, they're going to judge you, and they will think things like, "Oh, she's so full of herself. She's having a photo shoot, who does she think she is?" It's just going to happen. And I had to say like, listen, I'm not trying to be brutal here. I just want you to be able to handle it. I want you to be full of self. People say, "Oh, she's so full of herself." You know what? Be full of self. It is a beautiful thing. Be too much. Be you because your people will eat it up and they will love you for you.

I mean okay, so let's go back to the Grammys and let's think about Cardi B. So, I know some of you listening to this are like, who is Cardi B? Who is this Cardi B person she keeps mentioning? And listen, she's now your marketing homework. She's a rapper. Former stripper turned rapper. And I found out about her a couple years ago and let me be honest, there's only a couple of her songs that I like, but I love her.

And the reason that I love her and that her fans are die-hards is because she is fully herself with no pretense, no PR people. I mean, she has PR people but listen, she uses Instagram stories, Insta stories so they can't get ahead of her. She is who she is. Literally nothing she does or says is a premeditated marketing attempt except for the stuff she's paid to do like Pepsi commercials and stuff like that.

Listen, I'm telling you, if you don't believe me, go pay attention to her Instagram and watch her Insta stories. And I love using her as an example because she has tons of haters, but her people love her. That kind of authenticity is so refreshing.

And so for you, you may be more like a Brandi Carlile. You may be more reserved. Your persona or who you really are may be shy and quiet and somebody else in my mastermind said, "Well, I'm shy and pensive and Susan, you're gregarious." And the truth of the matter is I can be pensive as well, and it's just all a matter of I'm definitely not saying you need to be something you're not. I'm trying to say the opposite.

Be 100% who you are without apology and your people will love it, and there will be a lot of people who don't but you can handle it. Pep talk complete.

Alright, so now we're moving to the part of the show where I give shoutouts to all y'all who send nice things about the show. So today I want to give a shoutout, there's actually not a name, but their name on iTunes is Rent460 and Rent460 says, "Susan is legit. One of the reasons I love, love, love this podcast is that she talks about the side of business that people, especially women, forget. That self-care, fun, and energy are important. But she talked about it hand in hand with sales, negotiation, and marketing tools. It's the best of both worlds. Plus, Susan's approach is always easy to understand. It's not just overwhelming theory. It's action as well, and it's my must listen every week."

Listen, Rent460, thank you boo. Those are my shoutouts for today and hey, if you have something to say about this show, please send an email to my team or post a five-star iTunes review about the show or post up something on social media and you might hear your name on a future episode. I love giving shoutouts to you guys so holler at me. Thanks for the love and I love you guys right back.

Okay, it's time for an interview, and today, I already said, I'm speaking with Rachel Luna. So Rachel and I have been friends online for, I don't know, eight years now, and Rachel is such a great example of what I've been talking about, which is being authentically yourself. Authentically yourself, who you really are.

And the topic today is permission to offend. What? Hell yes to that. So without further ado, let's talk to everyone's favorite lunatic, the passionate and fiery Rachel Luna.


Susan: Welcome to the show, Rachel Luna.

Rachel: Hello.

Susan: Oh my goodness. So Rachel is a lunatic, that's what she calls her people. I love it so much. And Rachel and I have been online friends for almost a decade, I think.

Rachel: Can you believe that?

Susan: I can't believe it, and I think it was you who reached out to me. I think we became friends on Facebook, right?

Rachel: That's exactly who it happened. I was a fan and you had a book coming out and I was like, I want to interview her. I had this shrinky dinky little show on YouTube called Tailor Made TV and you said yes.

Susan: It was so fun and I have just been your fan ever since and it's been a joy and delight to see you as a new coach back then just blow up over the years and of course, the listeners of this show are super interested on Rich Coach Club and hearing stories of other coaches who are doing business and loving the industry and having rich lives as well. And so obviously you're somebody that I thought I had to have on because all those boxes are checked and you're also hilarious and real as fuck, so that is also a criteria for being a guest on the show.

Rachel: Well, I'm so honored that I made the cut. Go me.

Susan: Yes. And so Rachel, what do you think, in terms of - this is something I love to ask people. In terms of being a rich coach, how would you define rich?

Rachel: I would define rich as in like, rich in happiness, rich in fulfillment, rich in vision, rich in purpose because I feel like when you have those elements, like, I don't really believe in hard work. I know that there are days that I exert a tremendous amount of effort in my business, but it never feels hard because I'm so fulfilled by what I'm doing, and I have such a vision for what I'm doing, and I have such a heart for what I'm doing that I feel very content. And so therefore I already feel rich and it's just nice that the bank account finally caught up.

Susan: Yes. Well, I am with you. I think that definitely there are things that I do in my business that are harder than others, but I don't ever really feel like - it's that meme, right? My passion outweighs my resistance, or my passion outweighs any confusion or conflict I might have. And so when people say it's so hard, I love to invite them to remember their why. Why did you get in this in the first place? You got to stay anchored in that.

Rachel: Exactly. Exactly.

Susan: And so what's your why, Rachel? Why are you even bothering with this crazy life coaching industry?

Rachel: Well actually, I remember that for many years I did not have a why and I do think that it's important to have an anchor, but I also kind of have a different perspective in that, you don't necessarily have to have the why that you think you need to have. So when I was working with clients, especially in the beginning I'd hear them say like, my why - and by the way, right around that time, when we got connected, Simon Sinek had come out with that Start with Why book.

So everybody was all about like, start with why, start with why, start with why, and I remember being really annoyed by his message and his book because I didn't have a compelling why. My family wasn't a compelling why because to me, that was automatic. Obviously, I want to provide for my family, obviously I want the best for my family. That's not what's driving me. And what was driving me was my desire to actually build something, and I wasn't aware that that was the desire. And I remember feeling inadequate and feeling like something was wrong with me because it felt wrong to say like, my why is just because.

And everybody's like, no, but it has to be more than that, it has to be more, and people would challenge me, and I remember really being convicted of like, no. It doesn't have to be more, it can be whatever I say it's going to be, and I'm not going to bow down to whatever you want it to be for me. Unless you're going to start paying me my paycheck. Unless you're going to start paying me, then it's going to be what I want it to be. So for the coach that's listening out there, if you haven't anchored in on your deep personal connection of why, it's okay for you to say just because, that's my why. Because I want it. Because I want it.

Susan: And because you want - what's then your vision?

Rachel: Yeah, and that's another thing. Ooh, you're just hitting on all the things that I was in the opposition of. Because then that was another thing. People would say, what's your vision? And I'd be like, I don't know what my vision is. I can't even see it. I know that at some point in my life, I want to be a multimillionaire. I know at some point in my life I want to be like, dumb rich, like I could just walk on the street and give random people $100 bills and it does not affect my quality of life. I knew that that was a desire.

And the only reason that I had that desire was because I wanted to be able to help people, and I knew that that more money you have, the more help you can deliver. But I didn't have a vision for what it would look like. Well then, over the years I realized that I actually did have a vision but that vision was so big it scared me and I was scared blind. So for the coach who's listening who's like, I don't have a vision, everybody's talking about vision but I just don't feel it, I just don't see it, I want to challenge you. Just allow yourself to look at the scary. So my vision for myself is that I am a global speaker, top five highest paid speaker in general. Not just female. Like, among men and women, Rachel Luna is one of the top five.

Susan: Nice. And you knew that but it scared you.

Rachel: Scared the life - I remember one time I was at an event. I was in Las Vegas for something. I was walking towards one of the ballrooms and there was this light fixture, like a - I can't explain, but just a light fixture, and I had this vision of a light fixture that had my face on it and that thousands of people were coming to see me speak. And I remember getting the chills, even as I remember, I got the chills being like, my god, imagine if that happened. Like, wow. Who would let me do that?

Susan: Who's going to stop you now?

Rachel: Well, who's going to stop me and even still to this day, which is going to be that first 10,000-person stage? Which is going to be that first 20,000 - and now here's where the vision and the dream gets even more fun. So there's a particular stage that I want to get on. That stage alone is like, 30,000, 40,000. But my limited vision, I was like, so where's that first 10,000 stage? But what if I just skipped that altogether and I just went straight to the 40,000, 50,000?

Susan: And so when you could see it so clearly and you were like, oh my god, did you become blind in your words because of fear around what that would mean or what it was going to take to get there? What was it that shut you down?

Rachel: All of it. Every kind of possible fear. First of all, what's it going to take for me to get there? Who am I? What do I have to say? Who's going to give me the opportunity? Who's going to give me the time of day? How the hell am I going to make that happen? What am I going to be known for? What's so special about me? What's my secret process or what's my secret sauce or what's my BARE method, right?

And so all those thoughts came and I had this vision when I was very early building my business, when I - nobody knew who I was. And if you really think about it, like still, nobody knows who I am. I have a corner of the universe that like, five people know me...

Susan: Oh, come on. More than five people know you.

Rachel: Well, when you think in the grand scheme of like, there's seven billion people in the world. So when you look at it on those numbers, well, I'm in a really, really micro, micro, micro pond. And it's interesting because I was talking to someone and I recently met this gentleman by the name of Steve Maraboli. I don't know if you know who he is?

Susan: Yeah.

Rachel: Yeah, I didn't know who he was.

Susan: I mean, I only know of him. I don't personally know him, but yes.

Rachel: Well, I didn't even know of him. I didn't even know of him, I didn't realize this guy was such a big deal, but he's actually the most quoted man alive of our generation. And so I meet this guy and people were like, do you know who that is? And I'm like, no, I have no clue who he is. And my assistant says to me, we used one of his quotes in the journal. So I had quoted him not even knowing who he was. I liked what he had to say, and it was interesting to me. I really had this sense of awareness like wow, the world is so big that we don't even know who really is out there. We don't even realize how incredible some people are because we're so focused in our own little microcosm.

So all that to be said is that I didn't know how I was going to be able to make a name for myself, I didn't know what the steps were. I was afraid to even look at the steps because I was afraid of the work that it was going to take to build the steps. And at the time also, my husband wasn't really super supportive. I remember this one moment we were living in Japan and I had just freshly started my business and we're talking and I'm all excited and my husband just comes in, he says, "I don't believe in what you do." And then he goes, "But I believe in you so keep doing it."

But all I really heard him say was I don't believe in what you do, and I remember that it like, cut me because at that time I really believed that what I did was who I was. So my identity was very wrapped up in I'm a coach, so if you don't believe in what I do then you surely must not believe in me. And then he goes on to say, "You, Tony Robbins, you guys are all just marketers. Why does anybody need a coach? Why does anybody need to be motivated? Why don't they just motivate themselves?"

Now, you have to understand that my husband is a Marine and I was in the Marine Corps also, but he's like, a Marines Marine. He's a winner. He's a natural born winner. And he has excelled at everything. You don't need to tell him go get up and workout. He knows, I'm going to go get up and workout. So he doesn't need anybody to motivate him.

Susan: It's interesting, right? When I started this coaching practice, the silver fox was like, I don't understand. I don't know what a life coach is and I don't understand how you think you're going to replace your real estate income with that. So listening to you say that, I was like yeah, well - and he said the same thing like, I know if you put your mind to it you can do anything, but I don't get it. So in the very beginning it was the same. He was like, who's going to pay for that?

Rachel: Yes, who is going to pay for that? And so I already had my own limiting beliefs, my own fears, and then I had people at home telling me like, who do you think you are? And so I really just kept playing small, and then I remember I attended a conference and there were 1200 people and I remember thinking like, man, I want to have my own live event. I want to do something big like this.

But I didn't know anybody and nobody would give me a stage, so I partnered up with a mentor friend at the time, her name is Nashawn Turner. She's a wonderful coach, and we put on a vision board party at the air force officers club, and we charged $25 a person and all that did was pay for the room and the breakfast and we got 50 women. So we made zero dollars, but me creating my own stage, other people then saw me, and then that's how speaking gigs began. Then the air force hired me. Then the army hired me. Then the Marine Corps brought me in. Then the Family Readiness people wanted me to do workshop. So then - but what I realized was that, you know, you have to create your own stage first.

Susan: Yes, and I love this story because for all of the coaches listening, she started with having a partner and created her own stage for $25 a head, just to cover expenses. And then that allowed you, I'm guessing, the belief that hey, there are people who showed up and paid $25 for this. Now I can do a little bit more and a little bit more and a little bit more. And if you're waiting for somebody to come tap you on the shoulder and say, would you like to speak at this thing? You're going to be waiting a long time.

Rachel: You absolutely will be waiting a long time because remember, most people don't realize how powerful you are. In fact, even earlier this year - last year, this exact time, January last year, I put together another small event, 50 women in New York City, and it was to promote my book, Girl Confident, which was not finished yet. Still not finished, but I had written chapter one and I had galley copies of chapter one and I just wanted my audience to get excited. I just wanted to like, tease them.

So I put together this event and I bring a couple friends in and one of my girlfriends says to me, "Rachel, you are the world's greatest kept secret. Why don't more people know about you?" And I said, "Because people learn from me and they don't share me." You would not believe the people that I have helped that don't want to admit that they got help. And so I have coached people into seven figures and they will not mention who helped them get there, and that's okay. Everybody has their own thing.

Susan: You know, and I totally feel you. There's actually a celebrity right now who is very body positive who I have helped now for a while and I'm like, her endorsement of my book, I'm like, please. I'm never going to ask my client to do that.

Rachel: Why not?

Susan: Well, because I don't want to - I feel very much like, hey, if you want to give a testimonial, that's great. But when her management hired me, I had to sign all sorts of disclosures and it's a little tricky with somebody who specifically at the beginning of the relationship said like, don't ask me for anything, don't tell anybody. She doesn't want anybody to know she's working with a coach either.

Rachel: And I really have such a problem with that. I do because you're basically saying help me, change my life, and then don't tell anybody that you had anything to do with it.

Susan: Right, it's true.

Rachel: So here's the thing. So I - that was my response. I was like, well because people don't really promote me, people don't share me, and then I realized like, well, that's dumb. Promote yourself, Rachel. Why are you waiting for other people to do your work? So I had to really check myself in that moment, but a lot of people feel that way about me like, oh my gosh - and when people hear me speak on stage, people that have never heard me speak will come to like, some little one off event that I do, 50, 60 people - and by the way, I've spoken on stages of 1200, 500, I'm still waiting for the 10,000 and 20,000 but whatever.

But I also do smaller 50, 60, 70 people stages. And they'll hear me and they'll be like, oh my gosh, I never have heard of you, I didn't know, but I'm so transformed. And so I realized that I needed to start capturing more of that and I needed to start creating my own platform and I needed to really take control, which is why this year, we're doing Confidence Activated, which is my conference in Atlanta.

Susan: Yay.

Rachel: We're expecting 500 people. 500, mostly women, but I always say listen bro, if you are confident enough to be one of the minorities in a room full of powerful women, I will make a space for you right in the front and I will honor your bravery and your courage. So ladies, you want to bring your husbands, bring them. My husband is going to be there, a couple of gentlemen will be in the audience. But the point is that I realized like, I need to stop hoping and wishing that people will pick me and I need to pick myself.

Susan: For sure. That is one of my core messages. You really have to create the stage yourself, pick yourself, and that was actually part of the BARE book journey was that people who listen to this podcast have heard this story, but after getting an agent, no publishers were biting. I was in New York City for a different reason, it was my 10th anniversary business party and I was anticipating that my agent would line up all these publishers to talk to me and she didn't get one at that time.

Rachel: Did you fire her?

Susan: No, she's actually a great agent and she is the one who got me the deal that I have with BenBella publishing, but I was sitting in this beautiful loft in New York City that I had rented to film videos for a different project and I was like, you know what, I'm not going to wait for somebody to choose me. I choose myself. I had the videographer come back over and created all the videos for all the BARE digital product and created my own book advance through sales of that digital product to membership community. I was like, I'm not waiting.

Rachel: Yeah. And here's the thing; I think that sometimes we get too comfortable in waiting for the invitation instead of just saying, hey, can I come?

Susan: Absolutely.

Rachel: And you also have to be okay with - that you ask for the invitation and you invite yourself and they say no, you can't come. I did this recently. A girlfriend of mine is having an event and I said, hey girl, I know you have an event coming, I just want to let you know if you find yourself short on speakers, right here. And she was like, thank you so much. And then the whole list of speakers came out and it wasn't me. But that's not going to stop my hustle.

Susan: That's right. You asked.

Rachel: I asked. And she might not pick me this year but she will remember me for next year.

Susan: For sure. Now, talk a little bit about your event in Atlanta. Because I love that you created your own stage. This is your own event. 500 people, what's the focus of the event?

Rachel: So it is really all about activating your confidence and elevating your business. And one of the things that I know for sure is that the fastest way to build your business is to build your confidence because you can have all of the strategy, you can have the marketing budget of a multimillion dollar corporation, but if you don't have the confidence to implement the strategy and you don't have the confidence to spend the money and take the risk, then you're not going to grow.

So, I have really done everything in my power to build a true curriculum. And rather than it being a rah-rah motivational event, because I don't know about you girl, but I'm good. I'm good on motivation. I can watch YouTube motivational videos from home for free, so that's not really what we need anymore. What we really need is transformation and I believe that the best and fastest way to get transformation is by being in an immersion experience, by being in the room and doing the work.

So I have been very deliberate about creating a curriculum where we - the first day is all about the internal, the mindset, the limiting beliefs, and this is not your standard like, write down all the things you think about yourself. No, I mean, that's a great exercise. Props to you if that's what you're doing. But there is deeper work that I want to help you uncover. And it goes beyond just the basic reframing of limiting beliefs. So, we do all that on the first day.

Now, I wrote conquer your fear, but I don't really believe in conquering your fear. I really believe in moving in the fear. Moving with the fear, embracing the fear and taking the action even if you're afraid. I'm afraid all the time and yet I still show up. I'm afraid every time I turn on Instagram stories - by the way, I'm @girlconfident on Instagram if y'all want to connect with me.

Susan: Yes, she has great Insta stories.

Rachel: Thank you, thank you. And guess what, I am nervous every time I do an Instagram story where I show my face. Like oh my gosh, whatever, the thoughts coming. I'm always like, was that the best that I could do? And yet, that's the best that I can do today and that's what you're going to get. You're going to get the best that I have in the moment.

So we're going to talk about how you still show up even when the chatter is going on in the back of your mind. We're going to talk about creating systems of accountability for yourself, developing boundaries, and really it's all about developing consistency in a way that works for you. But my favorite piece of day one, this is just day one. My favorite piece of day one is giving yourself the permission to offend.

Susan: Yes, that's what I want to talk about with you.

Rachel: Yeah. Giving yourself...

Susan: So I think I know what you mean when you say give yourself permission to offend, but many of the coaches listening are often vanilla land. You know I love you guys, but you're cloaking yourself in being palatable for everybody and permission to offend is what, Rachel?

Rachel: Well, so permission to offend is really permission for you to be your whole 100% self. Now, I know that I offend my husband every single day. True story. Here's why. My husband is a very humble, reserved, quiet, introverted guy. He takes great offense with anybody who is too boastful. Meanwhile, I am like, I'm the world's greatest, I'm an amazing coach, when you see me on stage your life is going to be transformed, every time there's a mic in my hand - and by the way, I say those things and I believe them and I also experience the real doubt and fear of I really hope I make an impact today, I really hope that my words transform someone today, I really hope that someone has a breakthrough with my work, I hope I don't let people down today.

And yet I am the world's greatest. And so I show up in that way. The side of my head is shaved and I have pink hair, and I remember I wanted to shave the side of my head and my husband says, "Can you do this after the Marine Corps ball?" because he's still in the Marine Corps, and I was like, sure. Why did he want me to wait until after the Marine Corps ball? Because he was afraid of what people were going to think about me. I don't care what people think about me. Think whatever you want. Let me serve you first before you make a judgment. But if you want to make a judgment because I have pink hair on the side of my hair then okay, very well, so be it. So I'm constantly offending my husband and yet I don't apologize for any of it.

Susan: Yes, this is what I'm talking about.

Rachel: And also, I remember when I first, first, first started my business - so I'm a Christian. Also, I don't apologize for that. I am one that will say and offend people regularly when I say I wish people would listen to God the way they listen to the universe that he created. And people don't like it and people feel like well, you're not being inclusive. Well first of all, you're not being inclusive when you try and tell me that the universe and that God are the same because I don't believe that. They're not the same. God is God, God created the universe. Whatever, but those are my beliefs. So I'm not trying to convert anybody. Believe whatever you want to believe.

Susan: Good. I'm not offended though. You know, here's the difference though. Here's what I think. Like, I think people say to me all the time because I attract smart women who are like you, really vocal, give themselves permission to offend, and just recently I had a mastermind retreat in Savannah and there were women of different political affiliations, different beliefs about religion, and the thing is that women operating at a high level are like, rock on with that. No offense taken because they are confident in their own self, in their own beliefs.

But people at large, correct, are going to be offended by your hair, are going to be offended by you saying Jesus is your homie, however you say, I'm a Christian and that's the root and the foundation of everything I do. I have people say to me all the time, I don't agree with you but I love that you say it.

Rachel: Yeah, I get that a lot as well where people will say thank you for being so firm in your beliefs because it gives me permission to be firm in my beliefs. And listen, I am so - I can't even find the words but I'm so passionate about I am not trying to convert you. I am just honoring who I am, and if you don't like who I am, then that's okay. You can unfollow, you can unsubscribe, you don't have to be here to watch the show.

But if you want to learn how to be more of your own authentic self, then keep watching. You don't have to subscribe to my beliefs, but you can actually take some of my principles and some of my strategies and make them your own. So a couple years ago actually, I was starting my business and I was a Christian and I was all about God, and my really good friend who is Jewish and who was further along in her business said, you need to stop talking about God. You are going to alienate people.

Now, I thought that she was further along in her business, she looked like she was further along, and this is a very important message. Be careful who you get your advice from. And just because somebody has 25 million views on YouTube or 100,000 followers on Instagram does not mean that they're running a successful business.

Susan: Oh my god, thank you for just saying that. I always say like, I don't count likes. I count dollars. And yes, there are people who have a massive following and a massive bank account, but there are so many "influencers" out there who have not figured out how to monetize their audience.

Rachel: Exactly. So this - she's a really good friend of mine, so this is no shade to her. But she looked like she had it all together. So I took her advice, I stopped talking about God, I watered down my message, and I started attracting people like legit straight up which is - that do pentagrams or I don't know what they're called, but just stuff. She had all these practices and she's like, I can cast this spell for you. I'm like, no, I'm good, thank you.

But what ended up happening was because I was attracting people that didn't know my beliefs, they thought it was okay to try to impose their beliefs on me. And what also ended up happening is that I felt like I couldn't really coach her because I was afraid to offend her. I was afraid I would say something that would cause her to exercise faith and that she would be offended. And then I realized like, wait a second, I'm working so hard to not offend this woman and in my desire to not offend her, I am holding her back from a breakthrough. I can't do this. I cannot do this. My core belief as a coach or one of my core beliefs as a coach is that I have to be okay with the fact that my client is going to be pissed off in a session.

Susan: Yes, it's not a warm bath.

Rachel: No. I have to be okay with the fact that my client is going to walk off of a call and be angry at me because I have challenged her to become more than the way she's showing up right now. I have challenged her to really grow into who I know she can be, who I know she desires to be. And so I have to be willing to be unpopular with the very people that I serve if I'm going to instigate real change with them. Now, I don't set out to offend people, Susan.

Susan: I know you don’t. I don't either.

Rachel: But my truth sometimes triggers people's limiting beliefs. Sometimes it triggers their fears. Sometimes it triggers their insecurities, their doubts, their inner critic, and I cannot apologize for what's going on inside of your head because of the words that came out of my mouth.

Susan: You are not responsible. What you are doing and saying, you and I are not responsible for them being triggered.

Rachel: Or for how they're interpreting it. I had a client who was like, well, you told me that I can't create a course around this because I haven't done the world. I said, well hold on now, I didn't say that. What I said was I think it's interesting that you're selling a course and that the very step one of your course is something that you're struggling with right now, and I think that you should go back and do the work that you tell other people to do so that you can be in alignment.

Because we have to be the first partakers of anything we create. How can I tell you to run a profitable business if I'm in the red? How can I coach you through having healthy eating habits if I'm eating four packs of Girl Scout cookies every night in the pantry hiding? You have to have a layer of integrity. So what I said was I recommend that you do your work. I didn't say you couldn't do your program. Do your program. What I am letting you know is that if you have trouble selling, this is probably why because you're out of alignment and you're out of integrity.

Well, I don't feel good when I'm coaching with you, I need someone who makes me feel good. I said, well, I'm not here to make you feel good, I'm here to make you grow. And why do you think they call it growing pains? Because it hurts. Why when you go in a gym and you start adding resistance and adding weight, you feel the burn? Because you're growing. If you don't want to grow then I'm not the coach for you. If you want someone to make you feel good and warm and fuzzy, great, go find that coach that's going to keep you stuck where you are, and when I see you next year, you're going to be exactly where you are right now.

Susan: I love it. I love your fire and your passion and your conviction and I think that it's true. I mean, I think that people misunderstand what coaching is and obviously there are different flavors of coaching and different kinds of coaching that can happen and there are definitely coaches who are zen. No, I actually think the kindest thing a coach can do is be real with the client and challenge their client and be like, yeah, I'm not buying your shit today.

But I think that the permission to offend, you're such a great role model of it and it's such an important lesson for you guys listening in that if you really want to be noticed, if you want to stop the scroll, if you want people to talk about the amazing transformation that you provide, it's definitely not going to happen by being agreeable to everybody on every topic about everything.

Rachel: Agree.

Susan: So, if people want to get more lunatic, if they want more Rachel Luna, you have a podcast, you have a book you're writing, and you have this event happening in Atlanta. So talk to them about all the places to find all the things.

Rachel: Okay, all the things. You can subscribe to my podcast, it's called Real Talk with Rachel Luna and it is on all of the channels. So however you're listening to your podcast, my show is probably there. You can get the first chapter of my upcoming book, Girl Confident, by going to girlconfident.com, putting your name and email in the little box and it will be sent to you right away. Enjoy it. And also don't be surprised when you get the real book and some of it is different because we're always drafting and editing, but I think chapter one is going to be pretty true to form, so I hope you enjoy it.

And then of course if you really want to break out from whatever shadows you've been living in, if there's a part of you that knows you were supposed to be living a different life than the life that you're living right now, if you are waking up and looking at things and feeling like, come on, there's got to be something more and I should be further along, then the best way that I can truly help and support you is by having you go to confidenceactivated.com.

You can put the coupon code 25 OFF in the checkout and that will give you 25% off. So I'm sure Susan will have that linked up for you and I would love to serve you in Atlanta. I know I come across as harsh, but my clients will tell you that no one will love you more than I love you because I so deeply care about helping you break free from this cage that you're in, and I remember feeling in that space. Like, I felt like I was in a cage but I wanted to fly and nobody would open up the door, and I had to learn how to open that door myself.

Susan: First of all, I don't think you sound harsh, I think you sound honest. And I can attest to the fact that you have the biggest heart and a direct line to Girl Scout cookies. So we should put your daughter's Girl Scout cookie link in the notes too.

Rachel: Yes. It's http://www.rachelluna.biz/buycookies.

Susan: I love a female entrepreneur starting them young.

Rachel: She's eight and she's so sassy. Go and watch my Instagram stories from last night because she hit her first goal and she's like, hey guys, we did it, we hit 100 boxes and thank you so much and if you didn't get your cookies swipe up. She just loves that I have this...

Susan: I'm going to go buy like, as soon as we hang up, I literally am going to go buy cookies.

Rachel: Yay, thank you.

Susan: You are amazing. Thank you so much for your time today. You guys, check Rachel out. Her podcast is fire.

Rachel: Thank you so much for having me. Love you girl.


Yes, queen. That was an amazing conversation and I'm so energized by Rachel and so grateful for her openly sharing her opinions and just giving us all more permission to offend. So before we wrap up today's episode, I want to issue a challenge to you. It's simple but it's kind of a big deal. What if you started saying what you actually think in business?

Because listen to me, coaches are so far off in vanilla land most of the time that we just get so caught up in our life coach-y speak, in our life coach-y bubble that it's hard to see it. So you may need a coach or a buddy or somebody to point it out to you. But what if you just started saying what you actually thought instead of keeping it in?

Are you liberal? Are you conservative? I really think the days are gone when remember, your mama said don't talk about religion, politics, or sex? I think those days are actually gone. I think the political climate, where it is today, I think people want to know and I think they deserve to know. I know many business leaders disagree with me on this, but in the coaching space, whether you're liberal or conservative, I think your people want to know.

And is there someone you do differently than other people in our industry? So for example, I always talk about I use a combo of old school strategies and new school techniques. I don’t keep that a secret. So I'm going to tell you to talk to actual real people and look them in the eye and pitch them, just like I might educate you on how to place Facebook ads. I don't keep that a secret. I do both.

But what about you? And what are your favorite things? I bet you can tell me if you're a listener of this podcast, I bet you can name my favorite things. Beyoncé, smashing the patriarchy, my Peloton spin bike. Also, I mean, just sharing with people your pet peeves. Lord knows if you're with me and you're crunching ice or popping gum, we're going to have a problem. Crunching too loud is a huge one of mine.

Also, excuses. People who want all the results and none of the work. But what about you? Are you sharing that? And what do you want to eradicate? For me it's diet mentality. So if I'm at the pool or the beach or in a restaurant or in a changing room, you really can't escape it. I'll hear women talking about how they wish their bodies were different, how they're going on a cleanse tomorrow. That's where I really want to make a big impact, and also I want to eradicate life coaches thinking it's hard to make money as a coach.

But what about you? So my challenge for you, go study Cardi B for a week. She's your new marketing mentor. And what do you take away from her approach? The way she communicates with her audience. Now, separate yourself from whether or not you like her and whether or not you like what she's saying. I just want you to study her and her authenticity. And what do you notice and are you willing and open enough to try to loosen up a little bit and let people know who you are? Because never forget, people do business with people they know, like, and trust.

So thank you for listening to today's episode and hey, if you didn't know it already, I have a new book called BARE and it drops March 5th. So we're going to put a link in here on how you can show up, meet me on tour, I'm traveling all over the United States. I would love to meet you in person.

Alright, thank you so much listening to Susan Hyatt's Rich Coach Club. If you enjoyed today's show, please head over to shyattagency.wpengine.com/rich where you'll find a free worksheet with audio called Three Things You Can Do Right Now To Get More Clients. You can download the worksheet and the audio, print it out, there's a fun checklist for you to check off. Just three things to do. Check, check, checkidy-check.

This worksheet makes finding clients feel so much simpler and not so scary. So head to shyattagency.wpengine.com/rich to get that worksheet. Over there, you're also going to find a free Facebook you can join especially for coaches. Bring your coaching practice and your income to the next level at shyattagency.wpengine.com. See you next week.

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