April 15, 2019

RCC 34: An Introvert’s Guide to Building a Business with Kelsey Murphy

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People who only know me on the internet tend to think I’m the world’s biggest extrovert. This is absolutely, totally the opposite of true. While I love hosting parties and meeting people out in the real world, sometimes I love being curled up at home with my work and my loved ones. Every day I wake up early, enjoy my morning routine, and settle down at my desk for a quiet day of work. This work is different every day, but my introvert-self is at her most creative when I’m working in my own quiet space.

It’s a common misconception that in order to be a super-successful entrepreneur or coach, you have to be an extrovert. But some of the most successful coaches I know are introverts, and today’s guest Kelsey Murphy counts herself among the introverts, too. Kelsey is a Business & Life Coach for Fortune 500 companies and heart-centered 7-figure entrepreneurs and is one of Marie Forleo’s go-to B-School Business Mentors. Kelsey also hosts a popular and refreshingly honest podcast Whiskey & Work, where she talks about navigating the waters of business, life, and relationships by sharing personal stories about building a business with kids, staying connected with her husband, and pursuing her passions.  

Even if you’re not an introvert, you’ll gain a better understanding of how to connect with and help your introverted clients. Kelsey and I talk about what it’s like to be an introvert in general, how she leveled-up her business, and how she gained the courage to start her podcast. We also discuss how being an introvert affects her business, and Kelsey shares her advice for other introverted entrepreneurs who worry they can’t build a business.

And I share some of my favorite tools for building and marketing a rocking business, all from the comfort of your own home (if that’s what your introvert-heart desires!).

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • How you can build an amazing business even if you’re an introvert (and don’t want to pretend you’re an extrovert every day).
  • The moment Kelsey realized she had something really special on her hands with her Whiskey & Work community.
  • Why being on someone else’s podcast and getting great feedback was the push Kelsey needed to start her own show.
  • Kelsey’s advice for introverts navigating the ever-more-extroverted world of social media and marketing.
  • Why it’s important to commit to giving scary, public-facing things a real try rather than falling back on your introversion and discomfort.
  • How you can develop a strong sense of self so you can better determine what kind of marketing will work well for you and your business.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to the Rich Coach Club, the podcast that teaches you how to build your dream coaching practice and how to significantly increase your income. If you're a coach and you're determined to start making more money, this show is for you. I'm master certified life coach Susan Hyatt, and I'm psyched for you to join me on this journey. You're listening to episode 34, here we go.

When people pop over to my website or peek at my photos on Instagram, they see exciting dinner parties, a book tour, luxurious international retreats and photo shoots in Parisian streets with tousled hair, a plunging neckline, and a pair of sassy stiletto heels. So, often then people assume Susan's a total extrovert. She probably goes out every single night, she probably loves chatting with tons of people every day and going to networking events and all that kind of stuff.

And listen, while I do love hosting parties occasionally and producing events and retreats a few times a year, the book tour is an exception, and speaking on stage sometimes, the reality is that I am a total introvert. Now, people are saying maybe you're a highly sensitive extrovert, and that might be true too, but listen, most days I'm wearing my workout clothes and sneakers, not stilettos.

Most days I'm quietly working at home at my desk with my Beagle at my feet and my cat in my lap. Most days I'm drinking coffee, tea, or kale juice. Not champagne. This is what a typical workday looks like for me. I wake up at 4:45am, I go for a five-mile run around the neighborhood with my BFF Francis, and after that, three times a week I hit the gym for a weights session with my trainer Eli.

Once I'm back home, I probably won't leave the house for the rest of the day unless I absolutely have to. I have somebody running errands for me. Really, my car stays parked and my ass stays parked until it's time to go get on that Peloton. By 7am or 8am, I am sitting in my office at home with a cup of coffee or some tea, ready to tackle my to-do list and really excited about serving my clients.

I usually start by checking my inbox to see if there are any exciting emails that arrived overnight. I'll pop over to Facebook, say hi everybody, and post a new photo or do a Facebook Live video and I'm working. I'm doing client sessions, teaching classes, doing writing, doing all those things until 3pm, 4pm. I'm deep in work mode and this means I'm writing all those blog posts, recording podcasts like this one, emailing clients, teaching webinars, leading group coaching discussions, creating materials for upcoming retreats and training programs.

It's always slightly different. The workload depends on the day and it depends on whatever's most urgent. I'll take breaks throughout the day to feed and pet Moses and Apollo and give some love to Jake and Juliette, and I might pop outside for some fresh air or flip through a book or magazine for some inspo. I might throw something into my Insta pot, a.k.a. the best 100 bucks I ever spent for dinner later on.

And after dinner with my family, I might watch something like the new season of Veep. I change into my jammies and conk out by 9pm. I know, I'm really living that rock star lifestyle. And there you have it. 80% of the time, that's what a typical workday looks like, give or take a few appointments here or there and some Peloton spin workouts in my basement.

I really like being alone and I like having peace and quiet. I love people, but I don't necessarily feel the urge to hang out with tons of people every single day. I really love the introvert friendly lifestyle that I've created and it makes me happy and it makes me plenty of money.

So here's the thing and here's what we're going to be talking about today is that I think most people make the assumption that to make money in this industry, you have to be extroverted, and they assume I'm in introvert and honestly, a lot of the wildly successful entrepreneurs that I know are also introverts.

So this isn't an introvert, extrovert issue. This is a how you manage and leverage your energy issue. And I'm so excited, later in today's episode to dive into that with Kelsey Murphy. She has just an amazing perspective on this and she services and works for major seven-figure entrepreneurs so I can't wait to share her perspective on this as well.

Okay so now we're entering a part of this podcast episode that's different than any other podcast episode I've done so far. So instead of your two-minute pep talk, I'm going to actually give you a list of things you can try if you identify as an introvert or even an extrovert. These are things that I entitle how I market my products and services mostly without leaving my house.

So you guys know, listen, right now is a little different for me. I'm out on a book tour, I'm more visible than I ever have been, and I keep joking with my husband like, things are going to settle down in 2020, a little bit, but not for a while. Over the past 12 years, I've built a seven-figure and beyond business focused on women's empowerment and personal growth. It all started with a laptop, a simple website, and a stack of business cards that said Susan Hyatt, certified life coach.

Things grew gradually, one client at a time from those humble beginnings, and these days I do one-on-one coaching for female entrepreneurs, I run specialized programs. You guys know I have two sides to my business. I have the whole Bare franchise, which is a book and a certification program and a membership community and a deck. I've trademarked that methodology.

But I also help female entrepreneurs make money like you and I run masterminds and group programs and I've created this business without forcing myself to be more extroverted or to behave like someone I'm not. I've found plenty of ways to market my services, fill up my client docket and sell out my events mostly without leaving the house.

And you might be thinking, well that sounds impossible, what's the catch? It's not impossible and there's no catch. Just because you're introverted, that doesn't mean you suck at marketing or that you're bad at sales. That's not true at all. You've just got to find marketing approaches that feel good for you and that energize you instead of exhausting you.

And thanks to a neat little thing called the internet, you've got tons of options. Introverts rejoice. Here are the marketing approaches that work best for me. Emails. So when people tell you that emails are dead, don't listen to that person. Emails are not dead, and emails are - your list is really your real estate in this world. So if you're relying totally on social media and using private Facebook groups and all those kinds of things, I don't know if you guys noticed, but Facebook and Instagram went down last month and people lost their ever-loving minds.

Those are people who rely way too heavily on social media to market their businesses. Now, it did affect me. I was supposed to do an Instagram live with a huge influencer that was going to promote my book. Was I disappointed? Yes. Was it the only I have to get my messaging out there? No.

So listen, you need to keep it a little bit old school and have an email list and I send out emails multiple times a week to different segments of my audience and you know, people want to hear about what's coming up, what's available. I'm typically sharing personal stories, lessons, list of tips like this one, or a fiery rant about something that's bugging me. And I'll include a description of my latest program, retreat, coaching package, or whatever I'm currently trying to sell.

I can write these weekly emails from my home office in the quiet, in blissful solitude with my favorite tea and my cat snuggled in my lap. Email marketing rocks for introverts. So if you don't already have a mailing list or a newsletter set up for your business, you really need to consider it.

And some recommendations that I typically make, although my Facebook strategist says she's not a fan of Mailchimp, but there are all kinds of services out there that people love to use and we can start a conversation in the Rich Coach Club and discuss it. I use Ontraport. I used to use AWeber back in the day. People are really hyped up about ConvertKit, so there's tons of options. Some of them are free up to a certain number of subscribers. Go research and get on it.

Podcasts like this one. I started out with the GO! Podcast. I don't know if you guys were with me then, but it was just a short Monday morning pep talk. Feisty pep talk to wake you up and get your week started off right. And then it morphed more into something more targeted like the Rich Coach Club. But you guys, after three years of podcasting, I'm able to plug my mic into my computer in my home office and create professional level sound quality.

Each episode is pretty short, yay, all done. I get those lined up. Typically, I have several in the queue. I batch that work. I love podcasting because it's a fun way to let potential clients hear my speaking voice, really get a sense of my personality. Email is great of course, but actually hearing someone's voice takes the connection to another level.

And plus, a lot of you guys are seriously busy. My clients are busy. They're working moms, entrepreneurs, professional coaches, people juggling all kinds of priorities and goals, and they might not always have the time or mental energy to read a long article or an e-book. But they're happy to listen to a quick pep talk during a coffee break. Short podcasts work beautifully for my clients' busy schedules, and they're quick and easy for me to create. Win, win, win.

Webinars. Okay, a webinar is just a web seminar, a.k.a a class or seminar on any topic that you teach online. And for my webinars, I use a program - I used to use actually GoToWebinar. I now use Zoom Webinar and I typically do a combo of live video plus a slideshow presentation. I do one or two of these a month and all of my webinars are free.

I want people to join in, watch, enjoy, and get a little taste of my coaching style. And at the end of each webinar, I usually invite people to sign up for one of my upcoming programs or retreats, and people are usually a lot more likely to say hell yes, sign me up, after they've gotten a chance to sample my work for free.

So each webinar is like an audition for potential clients. It's a chance to show people what I'm all about, share ideas, answer questions, and it's always tons of fun. And also, I can do webinars in my home office in my yoga pants with my dogs at my feet. It's a relaxed introvert friendly experience, and even though I might be speaking via webcam to hundreds or even thousands of people, it still feels quiet and peaceful because I'm really just sitting alone in my office.

And by the way, you're going to want to check out the show notes because I just did a brand-new webinar a few days ago and I interviewed three of my highest earning clients. That webinar was fire. You are going to want to download that immediately.

So let's talk about social media, especially Facebook. So I put things on Facebook like, a lot. And Facebook has always been my favorite corner of the internet, however Instagram is becoming my newest favorite. But I treat Facebook and or Instagram like my virtual soapbox. That's where I can share my beliefs, share resources, links to my latest articles, webinars, podcasts, mention all the cool things I'm up to, and interact with friends and clients from all around the world, all without leaving my house.

Listen, my advice is to treat social media like a stage. It's basically a virtual performance space. It's your space to inspire, educate, and entertain your audience, even if your audience is just seven people right now. Step on stage, put on a terrific show, share your best ideas, make people think and laugh, give generously, and then occasionally, not constantly and not every single time you post, you can invite people to hire you or purchase tickets and products.

Small, cozy events. I don't produce massive conferences with thousands of participants, and I'm not sure I ever will. It's just not my thing. Most of my retreats are limited to eight to 10 participants. My Bare coach certification program has about 20 people per group. The largest dinner party I ever hosted, my girlfriends gone wild dinner party series, the biggest one was in Washington DC right at the 2017 women's march and we had about 40 to 50 ladies.

The very first girlfriends gone wild dinner party I ever hosted had 20 guests and it happened to be in my backyard. So when I say I'm introverted and I really enjoy staying home, I'm dead serious, people. I sold tickets online, I got clients to come over to my place, I hired a local chef and created a beautiful four-course meal so I didn't have to cook. It was a beautiful night.

And since I chose to host it at my place, I didn't have to pay to rent a venue, which meant lower expenses and more money in my pocket. Now, I definitely prefer hosting events that feel intimate, not too noisy and congested. My clients tend to prefer a more intimate atmosphere too. They always tell me that my events feel luxurious and they love the attention to detail and the high level of personalization.

People who sign up for my retreats and other live events often wind up hiring me again in the future. They might hire me for one-on-one business planning, or they might register for another retreat. I get a lot of repeat business on my retreats. People come back year after year. I call them repeat offenders.

Emailing people privately. If I'm doing something that I know would be perfect for a particular client or colleague, I'm not afraid to reach out and let them know. For example, let's say I'm accepting registrations for my next Bare coach certification program, which I actually am right now. We start April 18th.

One morning, a former client, we'll call her Diana, pops into my mind and we haven't worked together for quite a while, but we had a great connection. And I suspect that she'd love the Bare program. I decide to send her a personal email to make sure she knows about it. Even if she already gets my regular emails, my newsletter, all that, it's just easy for that step to slip through the cracks and she might have no idea that I'm running this program and I want to let her know.

So I would send her a personal email, something like, "Hey Diana, last time we spoke you mentioned that you wanted to start doing seminars in high schools for teenage girls, especially on sex, self-esteem, and body related topics. I'm not sure if you know about this, I run a program called Bare coach certification. I train and certify coaches who want to help women and girls with self-esteem, self-love, body, food, and weight related challenges. And becoming a Bare certified coach might be a great credential to add to your toolkit. One of my Bare coaches is now leading seminars for teenage girls who are doing the pageant circuit, which made me think of you. anyway, if you're interested in becoming a Bare coach or if you have any questions about this program, let me know. It might be a really good fit for the work you're doing these days. Unrelated to Bare, I'd love to get an update on how you're doing and what's been going on for you lately. Feel free to send me a little life update when you have time. Have a great weekend. Susan."

Sending a mass email to your business mailing list is great, but sometimes personal emails to friends, family, colleagues and former clients can lead to sales too. And something else I've added to this, in addition to sending personalized emails, I use a service called bombbomb.com where I can send video emails.

So, they open the email and they can see me moving. It's very Harry Potter-ish, and they click on the video email and I can pitch to them direct over video. If nothing else, it's just a good way to remind people about the work you're currently doing, even if the person you email doesn't want to hire you or sign up right now, who knows? Maybe they'll keep you in mind for something in the future or maybe they'll pass your name along to a friend. It just never hurts to reconnect and say I was thinking about you.

Talking to people. Okay, even though I love being alone and being online, I don't spend my entire day on the internet. As I'm going about my normal everyday life, working out at the gym, grocery shopping, grabbing coffee, whatever I'm up to, I always make an effort to ask the people around me what they're excited about.

What's new and exciting in your life right now? What have you got going on today? I ask questions like that and I listen to what people say, and then I might respond by sharing something that's new and exciting for me like the fact that I have a book out and I'm doing a book tour. Or I'm training Bare coaches, or I'm picking out the dinner menus for my upcoming Italy retreats. Or the fact that I'm looking at book stores that I want to stock the Bare card deck or whatever I happen to be working on that day.

And these types of everyday conversations often lead to some very unexpected rewards, even if you chat just to a teeny tiny handful of people each day. Like your local barista, your yoga teacher, your kid's friend's mom. It's amazing what can happen. Because of a quick convo at the coffee shop, someone might want to hire you. Someone might know someone you should talk to. Someone might have an insider tip for you. Someone might say something about you to someone they know, which could lead to a new client popping in your inbox.

Good old-fashioned talking to people has opened many doors for me over the years, both directly and indirectly. And it's definitely led to client bookings and sales. So even if you're extremely introverted, you're still going to leave your house at least a couple of times a week, right? And whenever you go out, make an effort to chat with at least one human being face to face. Ask what they're up to, ask what's exciting them lately, and then share something, ideally business related that feels exciting to you.

And if you do this once a day, 365 days a year, that's 365 more people who will know about your business and might want to hire you, purchase your products, or spread the word about what you're doing. Every conversation equals one more potential fan, client, or someone who might be able to send clients your way.

Every conversation counts. It all adds up. So stay home if you want to, but show up consistently. When people ask me, "Susan, how do you build a seven-figure business?" the answer is actually pretty simple. I'm passionate about my work, I care about my clients and I do everything in my power to help them get fantastic results from our work together.

And most importantly of all, I show up online and I do something to inspire, empower, and entertain people every single day. One day it might be a new blog post, the next day it could be a new podcast episode, an Instagram photo with an uplifting quote, an email to my mailing list, a funny rant on Facebook, a free e-book. Or an exciting announcement about one of my upcoming retreats, packed with tons of gorgeous eye-catching photos.

Every day I show up and I share something, without excuses, without complaining, without fail. I've shown up like this every day for the past 12 years. I am seriously religiously consistent and over time, people have noticed. I started out with zero clients and customers just like every one of you, just like every entrepreneur does, but over time, this little introvert has built an audience of thousands, largely because of my consistency.

So you can be introverted like me and you can still find ways to show up for your fans, followers, readers, subscribers, clients, and potential future clients. Just pick some type of marketing approach that feels good for you and be devoted and consistent. Yes, you can do it from your bedroom while wearing a hoodie and your headphones if that's what your introvert heart prefers. The key is you've just got to choose something and do it.

Now we're moving into the part of the show where I give shout-outs to you. Shout-outs to listeners, clients, and all the wonderful people in my business community. And today I want to give a shout-out to the person who calls themselves "launched me out of my own head" on iTunes. Hi.

So launched me out of my own head entitled this the power of personality. "I swear, Susan has somehow been in my head this week because this podcast was exactly what I needed to launch me out of my head. Oh my god. So much energy with clear and poignant messages. It was helpful and I will listen again and again. Thank you, Susan."

Well thank you boo. I'm glad I launched you out of your own head. Although, it's probably pretty amazing inside that noggin of yours. Those are my shout-outs for today and hey, if you have something to say about this show, please send an email to my team or post a five-star iTunes review or post something on social media and tag me, and you might hear your name on a future episode. I love giving shout-outs to folks in my community so holler at me. Thank you for the love, I love you right back.

Alright, it's time for an interview. I've been talking about being an introvert and some things you can do to be successful in business as an introvert because listen, it's not an introvert extrovert thing that one is better than the other in business. They each have power. And so today's guest is just a brilliant example of that.

Her name is Kelsey Murphy and Kelsey is a business and life coach and she's worked with huge companies like Facebook and Twitter, and she's also worked with somebody you might have heard about, Ms. Marie Forleo. She's one of my Marie's go-to business mentors for her B-School program and so Kelsey became known.

She has a wildly popular and refreshingly honest podcast called Whiskey & Work and she shares her opinion on navigating the waters of business and life and relationships and she shares her personal stories of building her business with kids, staying connected to her husband, and all while maintaining that sense of curiosity that entrepreneurs need.

She's been featured in Forbes, Business Insider, Huffington Post, Live Strong, Living Healthy, and laurenconrad.com. But on her other business card, it might say snowboarder, eater, dreamer, and fresh air addict. Some say hello to Kelsey Murphy.

Susan: Welcome to the show Kelsey Murphy.

Kelsey: Thanks so much for having me on Susan, I'm so happy to be here.

Susan: So I have known about you for at least a couple of years now because we have a mutual friend in common who was also a guest on the show, Alexandra Franzen.

Kelsey: Who is just such a dreamboat.

Susan: She is a total dreamboat and I am so intrigued about your personal story because you call your company Whiskey & Work. So tell us about the name.

Kelsey: Oh my gosh, you know what's so funny is people ask me, how did you come up with the name Whiskey & Work, and one, clearly I love whiskey, but I was sitting on the floor of my living room with my little sister, and I had just gotten to this place in my business where I'd finally created a packed business of my one-on-one coaching clients. And I was so excited but also kind of hit that plateau, which was you know, when you start your business, you never think what am I going to do when I get to that next level. You're just thinking about getting to that next level.

And so you hustle and hustle and you get to that next level and then you're like, oh my gosh, oh shoot, how am I going to scale this or what's the next next level. And so we were sitting there talking about how we can make a bigger impact and we were having conversations about life and starting businesses and finding your passions and how you do all these things and the things that people struggle with and the overwhelm and the insecurities and the fear and the self-doubt that pop up when you're going through these processes.

And she was like, "You know what, I feel like there's a lot of people that would love to have these conversations. We should be doing it on a bigger scale. You should be talking about the things you're talking about with all your clients on some sort of bigger scale." And so it started as a Facebook group. She was like let's just start a Facebook group and we were kind of in the stage of I don't know that anybody's going to be interested in this. Let's just throw it out to the world and see if people even care or want to have this conversation.

And I will tell you, we threw it out to the world and people were like yes, of course we want to have this conversation. These are the big conversations and we had so many people join the group right away that we knew instantly oh man, we got to keep doing this, and that's when I started the podcast and I started writing blogs.

But when we were coming up with the name, I was like, what should we call this because it's a little bit about life and a little bit about work. And she was like, I feel like we should call it Beyoncé and babies and maybe some booze as well. And I mean, I love all three of those things. I love them as well I said, but - and we were sitting there and we were talking about going out for drinks that night and we were going to go have whiskeys.

And I was talking about the different kinds of whiskey and I was like, what if we really just simplify it and we say this is going to be a conversation about fun and life and about not taking yourself too seriously and about passions and work and career and businesses. And what if we just called it Whiskey & Work. And she was like, I think that sounds right, and that's how we came up with the name.

Susan: Yes, I'm all about fun, as you know, and it's such a fun name and it's easy to remember. And so often when I'm mentoring entrepreneurs and they're trying to name something, I usually am like listen, don't try to be too cute. Keep it simple. But this is an exception to the rule because it's one of those names that's good enough that people will remember Whiskey & Work over Kelsey Murphy, and it's usually the other way around. Like, they'll know your name more than they'll know your business's name but this one is so good.

Kelsey: You're so sweet because again, this is one of those things where we didn't labor on this for a long time. We were literally sitting on the floor of my living room and had this conversation for 20 minutes and tossed it out into the world to see if it resonated with people because it resonated with us.

So I feel the same way, I'm working with people as well that are trying to come up with names for their businesses and for me, I'm like listen, it's about the impact. It's about the service. It's about what you're going to do with that name. Don't belabor it. Don't sit on it for too long. Choose something and then go out in the world. You can always change it, you can always shift it, you can always just use your own name.

But I do think it's funny that that's my advice as well and then here I have this podcast called Whiskey & Work. People are like, oh sure, that's your advice but you've got this cool name called Whiskey & Work and I'm like, you know what, that was a lot of spaghetti against the wall and it just happened to stick, which is a lot of business.

Susan: And sometimes that happens. Sometimes a name just comes to you like my friend Pam Slim who was also a guest on the show, she wrote  a book called Escape from Cubicle Nation and...

Kelsey: I love that.

Susan: It's about being an entrepreneur, and she said I literally was on a walk and it just came - it was a download, it just came to me. It wasn't like I did all the naming exercises and came up with it. It's like you were saying. You're sitting on the floor, and sometimes those are the best kind. So let me ask you this; so it started as a Facebook group. When did you realize that you really had something and you wanted to turn it into something more than just a private Facebook group?

Kelsey: You know, that's such a good question, Susan. I feel like if we're really honest with ourselves, deep down like, if we're starting something, we know we have something. Deep down in our gut, it's like there's something really rooted there that we care about that we want to put out into the world.

So if I'm truthfully honest with myself, when I was sitting there on my living room floor, I think deep in my gut I knew this is something I really cared about. I had the skills to help people with it, although I wanted to grow those skills and become better, I think as all of us high performers do, we're always wanting to be better. But I knew that I could help people at a certain place and I had been doing it for a little while with my one-on-one clients.

And so I think I always knew there was something there, but I always had the self-doubt, always. I wouldn't say I'm the most naturally confident person. I have so much internal dialogue going on. I am a processor, I'm an analyzer, I'm an introvert. To bare my soul and to go out into the world and to step up and to start a Facebook group or even do a Facebook Live or even start the podcast, those were true acts of bravery and vulnerability for me that I really wrestled with and had to have these internal conversations of is this something you really want to do, is this aligned with who you are, is this bringing you joy.

So I think I always deep down knew, but it didn't really - I didn't get the courage to start doing it on a higher level or to take myself seriously enough to start a podcast or to start blogging about it, or to guest on other people's podcast until other people started to come to me and started to drop little comments about the things that I was talking about. So I would say like, hey, quit trying to find your passion and just start following your curiosities.

And I would get like a little email about it like hey, I dug that, that kind of resonated with me. And then I would save that email. I would put it into this little folder and then I would write another email out that was about morning routines and how it's less about becoming a morning person and it's more about showing yourself what you really can do. And I told my story about being a night owl and then I started to get a couple more emails being like, you know, that really resonated with me.

And then all of a sudden I got someone that was like, you know what, you talk about these things that are really interesting to me and you have this journey, this story of being - my background is in advertising, being the director for Nintendo and Elizabeth Arden, and then I jumped into being a life coach, which is completely different, and was able to do some pretty successful things in that coaching world.

And someone came on and said, you know, I feel like you've got something, and it was not packaged well, I will tell you that. It's not like they came to me and were like, oh you have a great brand and we love what you're doing. They just came to me and were like, we've been reading some of your emails and we've been hearing a few things that you're saying and we think you've got something. Do you want to come on our podcast and we'll interview you?

And I was like dear lord, that sounds terrifying for me as an introvert, but I said yes and I went on that podcast and to me, that was really a light bulb moment because I loved being on the podcast. I loved - it was this new format and this medium where I could still have this intimate conversation, like it was just two of us having coffee or having wine, and having a conversation where I could really open up and be vulnerable, but then it was broadcasted to - I mean, I think the person that had me on had like, six million downloads at the time and it was broadcasted everywhere.

And so for me, I would like to say what happened after that, it wasn't like I went on this podcast and became famous by any means at all. I went on the podcast and then a handful of people were like, that really resonated with me. But the feeling of going on the podcast, of going on there and speaking about what I really believed in, of having this intimate conversation that then created content that could be impactful for so many other people, that for me I think was a big light bulb moment of oh my gosh, wow, what if I had said not to this because I was timid or I was scared or my introvert tendencies popped out and didn't allow me to walk into my stretch zone and to try something new and be brave.

For me, that was a big kind of turning moment. And then after I was interviewed on that podcast, it was like I did get a lot of feedback and then I was like, oh, I could podcast, I could go sit in my closet and do my own podcast all day long, for sure. I've got beautiful friends with all these amazing stories, so then I just started the podcast and then that took off pretty well.

Susan: So let me ask you this because you've mentioned multiple times being an introvert, and I think that most people are surprised to learn that I'm an introvert. In fact, people want to argue with me all the time that I'm not an introvert because I'm gregarious and I'm outgoing. And you know, introverts just have different energy demands. It doesn't mean that we're shy and it doesn't mean that we don't like people. It just means we refuel differently than others, so talk about being an introvert and what impact that has on how you operate your business.

Kelsey: Yeah, oh my gosh, absolutely, and I have the same experience I think that when I first started my podcast, I almost had this really weird experience of having so many people feel like they didn't resonate with me anymore because I was shouting my message from the rooftop and I was like, oh no, I'm in my closet folks, like literally, I am in my closet with a microphone, cozied up in a blanket, kind of just speaking my truth, talking about the things that I believe in.

And trust me, the first - when I did my podcast, I told myself I would literally not listen to a single podcast that I recorded or not give myself any criticism or allow my husband to give any criticism because my husband is so sweet and wonderful and he has been the biggest podcast man of mine when I thought I'm going to start this podcast and I think three people are going to listen to it.

And one of them is going to be my husband and one of them is going to be my mom. I don't know who's going to actually listen to this thing, but I had told him listen, I want you to listen to all of them, but I don't want any feedback, like none. I don't want any feedback until I hit number 50. And 50 was my number, and I just said you just have to put your head down and do it. And if you can get to 50, then you can decide whether this was a project you really loved or you didn't love.

And just with that mentality, I just took the pressure off of myself and I probably got to podcast seven and I was like, oh, I love it, I've already decided. I decided and I'd gotten really lovely feedback and lovely guests that were willing to be on it, you being one of them, and got to share these incredible stories. Taking that pressure off of these podcasts being perfect or them having this ultimate end goal or being a creator of money.

I just was like, just do this project, put yourself out into the world and see if you appreciate it and enjoy it and it brings that love to you and fulfills you. And I literally got to seven and I felt so excited about it. But I agree with the idea that being an introvert can be very confusing because now I have these podcasts out in the world and I have friends and clients and people who hear them and when people actually listen to what I'm talking about on there, I think that so many introverts relate.

So many introverts, they hear it and they're like, oh sister, amen because we are with you on the fact that this feels very uncomfortable for us and especially in a world of business with social media and the opportunities that social media provide. Like being on Instagram and doing Instagram stories and Instagram lives, there's so much opportunity there and there's so many different ways to do it.

You can do it on the fly as you're walking around, or you can do something that's very set up and outlined and strategically thought out a month ahead of time. So to figure out how as an introvert you operate in this new world I think can be a little bit intimidating and a little bit confusing. And there's a tendency for, at least people that are like me, like I never thought I wanted a business. I did not coin myself as a business owner at all.

I grew up with a stay-at-home mom and I always thought I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. That was it. Even though I knew I had to be financially independent, I graduated from college and I got a job in advertising and I stayed there for almost 10 years and really worked my way up the ranks and just put my head down. I felt this almost this sense of as soon as I'm done with this, as soon as I find my husband, I'm just going to be a stay-at-home mom because that's what I really want to do.

I really want to be home with my kids and for a while there I thought it was almost like me just avoiding work or avoiding having to do - ask the hard question of what do you love to do for work or what's your passion. But when I really got to this place, I realized it wasn't me hiding, it wasn't me walking away from something. It was a true love that I had. I truly wanted to be home with my kids as much as I could. I truly wanted to be the one to go on field trips.

I truly wanted to steam out my husband's clothes and iron his shirts. I had a desire to do that. That excited me. But I also had this desire to create a business and to do something successful and have something of my own, for myself. And so for me, I really had to navigate and figure out how do I show up in a way that honors both sides of me, and is it even possible.

Because I think for most of my life, I was in a world where I wasn't seeing that example in front of me. I didn't see other women doing that. So it's like, when you don't see the proof, you're like, yeah Kelsey, you're telling me this can be done but I don't see anyone doing it. And I'm like, well, get in a different circle, girlfriend, because let me tell you, I am in a circle now at this point in my life where I see amazing women doing that.

I mean like you have children and I loved how you were talking about your book tour and how you're organizing that around college your child is going to choose. You can have these lives of being a very present, loving mother that's very connected with your children, as well as having a business. Now, it's tricky. It's super tricky. But you can do it.

And so for me, it was really about honoring the pieces of me that were an introvert and for me being an introvert is being a really good listener. I'm a little bit more quiet, I'm a little bit more of an observer. I like to have those deep connective conversations. And so for me it wasn't always about showing up on social media constantly. That just wasn't part of my business plan.

And it's a great strategic part of a plan. If that is where you're comfortable and you can find joy in showing up in that kind of a way, then make that part of your business plan, for gosh sake. That's amazing, that's a skill, that's a love, especially if your target audience is going to resonate with that and it's going to be this really beautiful connective experience.

For me, I don't know always feel that. So knowing that that was going to be a struggle for me to show up live on video, I have two options. One, as an introvert, I can test that out and say is that because I'm an introvert and I don't love that, that's never going to bring me joy, or is that because that's a new skill that I haven't given a shot yet. Is that the same thing as the podcast? Do I need to give that kind of a 30-day shot and test it out?

And so for me, I have gone through the process of that with the podcast, of saying at first I did not think the podcast was going to work for me as an introvert but I gave myself that opportunity to say it does really tap into the things that I love as an introvert. I can do things in my pajamas. I can kind of go away for a while, I can have one-on-one conversations, and they can be content that's impacting more than one person. So that for me I think was really figuring out how to leverage some of my introvert tendencies to amplify and build my business.

Susan: And I think you said so many things that are such great points. So one of the things I loved is that you were like, there's no tweaking, there's no decision that's going to be made until I do 50, and I think so many of us when we get started with something, any time you start anything new, it feels uncomfortable, it's unfamiliar, we're in new territory, and it's so easy to go that just felt shackles onto my, I don't think that's going to be part of my repertoire. And you're like, you know what, I'm going to give it a good shot here and then I'm going to make some decisions.

Genius. So for any of you who are contemplating giving something a shot, I highly recommend that you adopt this policy and then number two, something else that you brought up about being an entrepreneur, or an introverted entrepreneur is that we can make all sorts of judgments about what it means to be an introvert, and you know what, you mentioned that actually, a podcast, even though it's a lot of talking, it's a lot of listening. It's a lot of deep, intimate conversations with one other person, which introverts love.

And you also mentioned something that I do think for all y'all introverts like us who are in business, you just have to understand your own energy and you have these deep intimate conversations and then you go away and you're quiet for a while and you recharge and you rebuild. And so one of the biggest - I know that you do a lot of business coach mentoring as part of your company, including for Marie Forleo's B-School and one of the things I hear all the time from introverted entrepreneurs is that they see me on social media or doing a podcast or doing this book tour and they're like wow, I could never do that because I'm an introvert. What do you have to say to that when you're mentoring an introverted entrepreneur?

Kelsey: Oh my gosh, I will say I hear that all the time and I just want to give that person a hug and be like, dude, we should have a drink because I am with you. I feel the exact same way and I think that there's a couple things that you can ask yourself when you're stepping into that situation. Are you really leaning on your introvert tendencies to help you figure out what you're going to be good at in your business, or are you just using the word introvert as something to kind of allow you to stay in the shadows?

And I think the word introvert has become so much more popular these last few years. People are like, they can wear it now. Us introverts can wear that name and it can be a cool thing because there's more of us coming out of the woodworks and saying hey, I'm an introvert too, hey I'm an introvert too. So I will always ask people, how are you leveraging your introvertness? How are you using that to your ability?

You can say okay, I could never do that - first of all, we're not going to say I could never do that because as I just said with the podcast, I believe that we should give everything a shot and a try and you have to ask yourself, is this something that I really don't love because of my introvert tendencies or is this just something new and scary that I have not given a shot to be good at? Just like video for me, I'm not great at video right now.

Now, I used to have an internal dialogue that would say I'm just terrible at video or I hate public speaking, and what I learned to do was reframe that internal dialogue to be I'm still working on mastering that skill, and at some point in my life I may master that. At some point in my life I may decide that's not something that I want to put my time and energy towards, but video is one of those things that's very big and very popular right now.

And for me, I have focused a lot of my energy on different aspects of my business and not on video yet. Now, so for me if you asked me do I like being on Instagram and Instagram Live and Facebook Live, heck no. No, I do not like it. It is not going to be first choice and I have a tendency as an introvert to say I just don’t like it, I just don't like it. But I think the reality is I haven't given it that shot of like hey, what if you tried it, what if you tried 50 different Facebook Lives. Give yourself that number again. Go shoot for 50.

And even just taking the pressure off having to have your first five, six, seven Facebook Lives perfect and the lighting great and your outline is good, you may notice by number 10, 11, 12, you start to get in a groove. You start to care a little bit less about this lighting or you find a lighting that you can do in two second that you really love. And then by video 15, 16, 17, you realize you don't really have to do huge outlines anymore. You actually have to write three points.

And you notice you start to have repeat viewers who are chiming in, saying I love that you did this, and you start getting feedback. And so I think until you do those things, you can't really say I'm not good at it or I'd never be good at it because I'm an introvert. Not to say that people don't know themselves because we all do know there are certain things that we lean away from and lean into, but I would just say notice when you're using that word introvert.

Are you using it to leverage it for your business and say I am really connective, I like to listen, I like to observe, and this is how it's going to show up so it can be amplified like through a podcast or something else, or are you using it just as a way to stay in that world of self-doubt, which we all are in. We all feel the self-doubt. Just notice when you're using the word introvert to stay in that comfort zone and not put yourself in that stretch zone where you're really going to have the most amazing adventures and experiences.

Susan: Yeah, and I love how you say that because I agree with you. I think so many people - introverts are taking back their power, man, and we're all like yeah, like introverts unite. But then there is this dark underbelly where I see introverted entrepreneurs using it as a reason why they can't try certain things. And like you said, I've done it too. I used to tell myself - I do so many of my own events where I'm speaking that I was like, I don't really need to market myself as a speaker, I don't want to do that.

And what I've noticed on this book tour is like, oh, you actually do want to do that. You just used to think that it would exhaust you. And actually, it really doesn't because it's a small burst and then you get to go away and like, you've grown your capacity, you've grown your energy capacity now and you are better equipped to handle it.

So I love this conversation because it's like, you're a good example of an introverted entrepreneur who's given herself the shot to try different things, but you also know yourself really well and it's totally cool and okay if there are certain things you see other entrepreneurs doing that you're like, you know what, I don't want to do that. I don't give a crap about showing up on Instagram Live or Facebook Live, I don't have to do that just because Susan Hyatt's doing it.

And I think that's the other thing is like, just knowing, having a strong sense of self and figuring out okay, what are the marketing vehicles though that I do want to use, if it's not speaking from the stage, if it's not showing up on social media, there are plenty of other ways to do it but let me figure out what those are instead of just using introversion as an excuse that I can't make money because honestly, a majority of the successful entrepreneurs I know in the life coaching space are introverted.

Kelsey: Absolutely. I will tell you, when I'm coaching Marie Forleo's B-Schoolers or I'm coaching these celebrity nutritionists or some of these other people, the majority of them are introverts. They are these deep, loving, creative souls that are trying to navigate and find their way to show up in their own corner of the world and make an impact.

Most people are not like I want to go change the world right off the bat. After you get into your groove and you find your message and you test it out and you start seeing the impact, then we start to grow this mentality of like, wow I really could impact so many lives. But it starts out with this teeny tiny desire to just help one person and then just to help a small group of people.

And then wow, what if we could help a bigger group of people and make a living and be my own boss, and then those quiet introverts are like, okay what does that look like in real life? And then we get scared because we think oh my gosh, when I look at everybody else around me or what I see is on Instagram and Facebook, that looks like an exhausting business. And I think the beautiful thing is you don't have to create that business. You can create a business that works for you. Just don't let fear and this idea of an introvert hold you back from putting yourself out into the world.

Susan: So I so have loved this conversation and I could talk to you all day. I feel like I need to have you back to talk about some of the other amazing concepts you and I talked about. We could jam on for Rich Coach Club. But I would love for everybody to know, we're going to put in the show notes where they can find you, follow you, all those things. But what are you most proud of right now and what do you want people to experience with you?

Kelsey: You know what, I think what I'm most proud of right now is definitely the Whiskey & Work podcast and not just because it's a podcast out in the world but because it has been a true act of vulnerability for me to show up and to tell so many of my different stories. I mean, on that podcast I'm talking about everything from the late nights that my two and a half year old keeps me up and how that affects my business and I'm talking about difficult conversations that my husband and I are having and how you navigate that too, how that all is impacting my business and how I navigate those waters as well as kind of juggling all these things.

And to be able to show up and to say those things and to feel confident that these are okay things to share out into the world and these stories are helpful. And to get so many of the beautiful pieces of feedback and the reviews from people saying, like, wow this has been so helpful for me, I think that definitely is the thing I’m loving so much, I’m getting so  much joy from that I never thought I would ever, and that really I’m proud of.

Susan: So you are such a bright light online, so for any of you – I talk about in my BARE book curating your social media news feeds to only include things that feel uplifting and motivating and inspiring. And if you start following Kelsey and Whisky and Work, you will feel that bright light shooting off the screen at you because she is just a delight.

Kelsey: You’re so sweet. I mean, you’re also going to see a lot of a crazy two and a half year old running around like a little munchkin, but yeah, I do try to share as much as I can about the real world and the real life and the behind the scenes of what is in our household and in this business over here.


So, on today’s episode, we’ve been talking about being an introvert. And there are tons of successful brilliant creative world-changing people who have introverted personalities. I’ve got some introvert heroes for you because being introverted doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re shy or timid or have social anxiety. It just means you get energized and refueled by spending time alone, whereas extroverts like Mr. Scott Hyatt, get energized and refueled through social interactions.

So here are a few introvert heroes you might not have known about; Meryl Streep. She says, basically, “If I had my way, I’d just stay home and think about what I’m having for supper.” Or Albert Einstein, “The monotony and solitude of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind. Mahatma Gandhi, “In a gentle way, you can shake the world.” Audrey Hepburn, “I have to be alone very often. I’d be perfectly happy if I spent Saturday night until Monday morning alone in my apartment. That’s how I refuel.

Susan Cain, “Don’t think of introversion as something that needs to be cured. Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you’re supposed to.” Queen Beyoncé, yes, Beyoncé described herself as an introverted kid. She rarely gives interviews. She guards her family’s privacy closely. She releases albums on her own timeline, often as a total surprise. And when she steps onstage, she often channels her extroverted alter ego Sasha Fierce.

Is Beyoncé an introvert? Nobody knows for sure, but I’m going with yes, or should I say, “Yas.” Thank you for listening to today’s episode. If you’re an introvert, I hope you’re feeling a little more confident about your power as an introvert. And if you’re an extrovert, I’m sure you got some ideas out of this as well, because you probably will have clients who are introverted and I hope this helps you understand them a little better and maybe give them some ideas from it.

I should point out to you guys; I have three things going on right now that I want you to know about. One is, I’m enrolling for BARE coach certification.  So we start April 18th. Get crackalacking. We’re going to put a link in the show notes to set up a consult call.

I’m also filling the next round of Clear Coaches Select. I’m going to put a link and consult call information in the show notes about that as well. And if you haven’t heard, I have a new book out called BARE. Buy the book. And I’m happy to report that we now have it in audiobook version. I just finished recording the thing. you can get on Amazon and get it.

Alright, thank you so much listening to Susan Hyatt's Rich Coach Club. If you enjoyed today's show, please head over to shyattagency.wpengine.com/rich where you'll find a free worksheet with audio called Three Things You Can Do Right Now to Get More Clients. You can download the worksheet and the audio, print it out, there's a fun checklist for you to check off. Just three things to do. Check, check, checkidy-check.

This worksheet makes finding clients feel so much simpler and not so scary. So head to shyattagency.wpengine.com/rich to get that worksheet. Over there, you're also going to find a free Facebook you can join especially for coaches. Bring your coaching practice and your income to the next level at shyattagency.wpengine.com. See you next week.

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