Hello and happy Monday! This is Susan Hyatt and it’s GO time.
This is the 105th episode in a series of GO mp3s to wake you up on your Monday morning and get you going.
In this episode we’re about flakiness. Do you back out of events and cancel on your friends? It might be causing a ripple effect you never imagined.
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Wanna read the full transcript? Here ya go:
I’ve got a question for you, and it’s a question that might feel slightly uncomfortable.
Are you a flaky person?
You might be thinking, “No, I’m not” or “Not really” or “Well, I certainly try not to be.” But if we take an honest look at ourselves, most of us discover that, actually, we’re a lot flakier than we’d like to be.
It starts out so innocently. You make plans to grab dinner with a friend, but when the date rolls around, you feel tired. A few hours before dinner you text to say, “Sorry, such a long day at work. Can’t make it tonight. Next week?”
Then maybe later, you make plans to attend a friend’s birthday party. You really intend to be there. But then, the same thing happens. The big day rolls around, and you just can’t muster up the energy to drive across town. Or you’ve got so many work thing to do. You figure, “Well, she’s going to have like 20 other people there. Tons of other friends around. So it won’t really matter if I skip it.”
It’s just so easy to fire off a quick text, or an email, and poof! The commitment you made… has vanished. Just like that.
Flaking out is not a heinous crime, of course. All things considered, it’s not the end of the world.
The problem is this…
When we choose to flake out, we typically don’t think about the ripple effect of our actions. It feels like “no big deal” to us, but actually… it might be a pretty big deal to someone else. Your friend might be really disappointed. Your colleague might be very inconvenienced. Your manicurist could have spent the afternoon playing with her daughter, except now she’s at the salon waiting for you to show up, and you have no intention of doing so. It’s just not cool.
Recently, I had a client back out of a retreat. She emailed me to apologize, saying her schedule had changed, and she just couldn’t do the trip.
She said to me, “But I’m sure you have plenty of other ladies who would LOVE my spot, so I’m sure you’ll be able to fill it right away.” She wanted me to find a replacement for her, and send her money back. No big deal, right?
You know what, though? It IS a big deal.
Because when one person backs out of a retreat, it means that I have to stop everything I’m doing to try to find a replacement. That’s not always easy for me to do, especially at the last second. It’s a huge amount of extra work for me and my team.
Another time, there was a woman who registered for one of my retreats. She requested a special payment plan with several installments. But then didn’t follow through on her commitment. She just stopped making payments. Total flake-out.
It was really disrespectful to me AND really disrespectful to all of the hardworking women on my team. Because when a client doesn’t pay what’s owed, all of those women are directly impacted, too. Women like our Italian tour guide, Lucia. Like our yoga instructor, Heidi. Like our driver, Katharine. Imagine being a driver like Katharine. For Katharine, the difference between having 8 customers during a retreat, versus the 10 customers she was originally planning on… that’s a big deal.
My point is… Changing your mind is a luxury that (often) costs nothing for you, but everyone else pays a price for your flakiness. That may sound harsh, but it’s the truth. And it’s something we all need to remember.
There’s a really simple solution for this:
If you’re on the fence about signing up for something, then don’t sign up.
If you’re thinking to yourself, “Oh I can just reschedule later,” then don’t sign up.
If you’re already overbooked and it’s not realistic for your schedule, then don’t sign up.
Don’t commit to anything unless you’re 100% excited to be there. FOR REAL.
If we all lived our lives in this way, it would be… AMAZING. Stress levels would drop. Friendships would be strengthened. Trust would be rebuilt. It would be a beautiful thing.
Let’s all vow, right now, to STOP the pattern of flakiness that’s so common in our society.
No more last-minute texts to back out.
No more cowardly email cancellations.
No more clicking “Maybe” on a Facebook invite.
No more refund requests for something you’ve decided not to show up for.
No more of any of that.
Be honest about what you’re truly willing to do.
Be ALL IN or ALL OUT.
But don’t be in between. And don’t be a flake.
That’s my challenge for this week. And every week.
It’s GO time.