Hello and welcome back to the BARE Podcast! This is your host, Susan Hyatt. This is Season One, Episode Six.
Wanna read the full transcript? Here ya go:
The BARE Podcast is a show where we talk about your body and your life.
We discuss things like… how to treat your body with love and respect… how to build more energy and the confidence to go after your goals… and how to make the most of each and every day.
On the last episode, we discussed how to… Declutter your closet.
On this episode, we’re going to keep talking about decluttering. But this time, we’re not talking about your closet. We’re talking about your mind. The words you say to yourself. The thoughts you think to yourself. The stories you tell yourself.
This is so important. Because you can have a beautiful home, and a beautiful closet, and a kitchen that’s sparkling clean and full of healthy, delicious food, and a personal trainer, and all kinds of luxuries, but… if your mind is full of cruel, toxic thoughts, then that’s going to sour everything in your life.
To be healthy, strong, and happy, it all begins with the thoughts that are running through your mind. Inside your mind, is there a supportive friend talking to you? Or a bully? In this episode, we are going to dig in and find out.
STEP 6. DETOX YOUR MIND.
Researchers have found that 97% of women think at least one intensely negative thought about their bodies every day.
Are you part of that 97%?
I was, for a very long time. I used to think intensely negative thoughts about my body ten times a day, a hundred times a day, I don’t even know! Almost constantly.
I would look into the mirror and think, “Ugh, you’re even fatter than last month. You have no self control. Such a pig.”
I would see a photo of myself and think, “Your husband didn’t sign up for this. He probably thinks you are disgusting because you’ve gained so much weight.”
As often as possible, I would avoid the mirror, avoid photos, avoid videos, avoid the beach or the pool, avoid any situation where I would be confronted with my body.
I didn’t want to see myself or be seen. I wanted to hide. Because inside my mind, there was this cruel, vicious bully who was always waiting… waiting to torment me with awful comments about my body.
I didn’t need someone to bully me or abuse me. I did plenty of it all by myself.
A big part of my healing process was becoming aware of these vicious thoughts in my mind—noticing them, and then changing them to something different. Almost like changing the channel on the TV. Once I learned how to do this, my stress levels dropped, I feel so much more optimistic about the future, and it was easier to take good care of myself, and eat well, and exercise consistently. And once I learned how to upgrade my thoughts, that’s when the extra weight I’d gained began to melt off.
I encourage you to try this. You can set a timer that goes off once per hour. When it goes off, just for thirty seconds, stop whatever you are doing. Pause. Check in with yourself. What kinds of thoughts are running through your mind? Positive thoughts? Negative thoughts? Really cruel, awful thoughts?
Notice whatever’s rolling through your mind. Then, if necessary, change the channel to something that feels positive and empowering.
For example, if you notice yourself thinking:
“Ugh, someone needs to get rid if those brownies in the kitchen. I can’t be trusted around brownies. I will just eat all of them because I’m such a pig!”
That’s a disempowering thought because you’re basically saying that you are helpless and powerless, which is not true.
So, you want to change that thought to something that feels more empowering. Change to a thought that makes you feel strong and resourceful instead of powerless. For example, you could say to yourself,
“I am tempted to eat ten of those brownies because I feel lonely right now. So, I’m going to find some other way to feel better—something that doesn’t involve over-eating. I can read a book, or call a friend, or chat with friends online, or do something else that brings me a feeling of connection. I can take good care of myself.”
You might be thinking, “Well, that sounds good in theory, but I don’t have any control over my thoughts. Thoughts just come into my brain, and that’s it! They’re just there! I can’t change them!”
But actually, you can.
In the life coaching world, this is called “thought work.” It’s a practice of noticing the thoughts you’re having, and then making a decision about whether you’re going to believe that thought, or not.
You can notice a particular thought, and then you can make a decision and decide, “This thought is not true” or “This thought is not helpful” or “This thought is unproductive,” and then you can change that thought to something else.
You can do this. And the more you practice, the easier it becomes. This is such important work, because when you upgrade the quality of the thoughts in your head, you upgrade your entire life.
Now we’re moving into a segment that I call BARE VICTORIES! This is where I share some posts, emails, and texts from women in my community to say CONGRATULATIONS and YAY!
Here’s the first BARE VICTORY…
I’m doing so much sweating this week!
I took a gentle yoga class tonight except that I was sweating about 2/3 of the time. My arms, legs, and core were shaking at various points in the class… it wasn’t gentle for me but I was so glad that I did it.
Then Wednesday, I did upper body weights + walking around the track + biking. On Tuesday, I went to the trampoline park with my son. And earlier in the week, I did walking/light jogging around the track + weights + biking.
I’m planning to go again tomorrow for badminton. It’s so cold here that I haven’t been doing my regular walking outside so it’s been making me happy to move.
And now it’s time for a segment that I call BARE Q&A. I’m choosing a question that’s been submitted by a client, be a BARE DAILY member, or from a podcast listener like you. If you have a question, you can send it to: SUPPORT@SHYATT.COM.
Today’s question comes from Stacy. She asks:
I thought that I was over what you call “mind crack.” But the negative thoughts just keep coming. Am I doing something wrong?
Here’s my answer:
This whole podcast episode is about changing your thoughts and I DO call negative thoughts MIND CRACK, because they’re addictive. I used to be somebody who believed that if I worried about something long enough, I would find a solution, but actually, I learned that worrying is like praying for something bad to happen.
When you learn thought work, it does not mean that your brain will never issue another negative thought for the rest of your life.
The way that the brain functions is that it issues negative impulses to keep us safe, like fight or flight.
Everybody’s brain operates pretty much the same way.
Our minds go to work to prove our thoughts true and keep us safe. Unfortunately, what happens is that a trip to the dry cleaners can send us into a tailspin. We’re not running from lions and tigers and bears and NEEDING that for survival anymore so it gets twisted.
Thought work is a daily practice. Some call it, “mental floss,” instead of dental floss (get it, haha). It’s a daily, if not hourly, practice. Sometimes I catch myself slipping and thinking something negative or something that doesn’t serve me and I have to work on it.
I would venture to say that in the beginning of thought work, probably 75% of my thoughts were negative, 25% positive. Over the years that has completely flipped. Now, really over 90% of my thoughts are pretty positive, and the remainder are negative. None of us are perfect. You’re not doing anything wrong. The difference is, are you going to work on those thoughts? The rebound time will become much faster.
I hope that’s helpful! Again, if you have a question you’d like to send in, you can send it to: SUPPORT@SHYATT.COM. I’d love to see it. You can send me a BARE VICTORY, too! I’d love to hear all about it.
This is a segment where I gush about a woman I really admire. It might be a politician, an artist, an entrepreneur, or someone who’s not necessarily “famous” but who has deeply inspired me.
Today, I want to talk about Miss Tracee Ellis Ross. you may have seen her on the hit TV show Blackish. She’s also Diana Ross’ daughter. She is fierce and a boss in her own right.
I love her for so many reasons.
She’s a style icon. She’s a talented actress. She’s an advocate.
She has so many great things she’s doing and so many great quotes.
I think she’s a great role model for women who are not married and who do not have kids.
She’s quoted as saying, ” It’s really interesting to be a woman and to get to be forty-five and not have kids.” Ross told the audience, that even though she is killing it in many ways, “I’m a good friend, a solid daughter, a hard worker, my credit is good, I take out the garbage before it gets smelly, I recycle, and I won a Golden Globe!” But she is still judged on the marriage and the kid thing.
Well-meaning people will say to her, “It’s never too late!” Like… what she’s done to this point hasn’t really mattered.
She said she wrote down in her journal, “My life is MINE.”
Those words stopped her in her tracks and brought her to tears. The realization that she may not have gone the traditional route, but she’s pursued the audacity of her dreams, and that as a woman, she’s whole and complete HERSELF… not in relation to anyone else.
I find that to be so powerful.
I am married. I’m celebrating my twenty-fifth wedding anniversary this year. I have two kids (ages nineteen and seventeen).
I definitely have gone a traditional route in my life, but I want to send the message to all women that…
What Tracee is saying is so powerful. That we’re whole and complete on our own.
Motherhood doesn’t complete us. Being married doesn’t complete us.
We are whole and complete on our own.
You should definitely check out what she’s doing, and you can find her at:
Here’s her interview on the Ellen show!
She is my HERO. I have a feeling she’ll become one of your heroes, too.
RECAP / OUTRO
That’s all for this episode!
To recap what I mentioned earlier…
Today, and every day, I encourage you to notice the thoughts that you think about yourself, particularly thoughts about your body.
If you notice mean, cruel, vicious, or disempowering thoughts in your head, I want you to change that thought to something more empowering. It’s just like changing the channel on the radio or TV. You can decide, “NOPE! I am not going to keep saying that to myself. I’m changing the dial to something else.”
Instead of bullying yourself and tormenting yourself, you can learn to talk to yourself like a friend. This is an invisible, internal change. But the ripple effect is HUGE. It changes your mood, your health, every aspect of your life.
There’s a wonderful writer named Lindy West who once wrote, “You can’t take good care of something you hate.” This is so true. If you constantly say hateful things to your body, or think hateful thoughts about your body, then it is virtually impossible to take good care of your body. You’ve got to switch those thoughts to positive ones. This is how you will create deep, permanent changes in your life.
If you’re enjoying the BARE Podcast, please take 5 seconds and leave an iTunes review, or tell a friend about the show, or tell five or ten friends. That is the BEST way for new listeners to find this show.
Have a beautiful day. Take good care of your body, because it’s the only body you’ve got. We only get ONE body, and we only get ONE life, so let’s LIVE while we can… and make the most of each and every day.
I’m sending tons of love to you—and I’ll see you in the next episode!