Once, I had a client who struggled with horrendous acne. She was a grown woman in her thirties, but her face looked like a hormonal teenager.
It was so discouraging and really impacted her self esteem. She didn’t feel confident posing in photos, going on dates, or pursuing ambitious career goals. Some days, when her skin was especially inflamed, she didn’t even want to leave the house.
She tried everything to fix her acne. She spent thousands of dollars on dermatology appointments, cleansers and serums. She tried organic face masks made from the purest botanicals. She tried harsh chemical peels. She tried medication. Nothing helped. As a last resort, she would plaster heavy make-up on her face to try to disguise the acne so that, at least, she felt “presentable” enough to be seen in public. Of course, this only made her skin worse. Acne. Makeup. More acne. A vicious cycle.
Every morning, she’d look at her face in the mirror and think to herself, “Ugh, I’m disgusting.” “What is wrong with me?” “So ugly.” “I hate my skin.”
This went on for several years. Finally, after trying practically every skincare product that’s ever been invented, she decided to try something different. Something radical. Something she’d never tried before. She decided to speak “kindly” to her skin, using positive, encouraging, gentle words, instead of hateful words.
Her new morning ritual went like this:
She’d look at her reflection. She’d focus her gaze on the acne-free parts of her face. If her entire face was covered with acne except for a tiny little part, like the tip of her nose, then she’d focus on the tip of her nose. She’d say something encouraging, like, “I see you, nose! I see that clear, happy skin!” “Good job!” “You’re doing great!” “Keep going!” She’d say positive words and encourage that little area of happy skin to “spread.”
She repeated this routine every single day. Even when it was challenging. Even when she didn’t feel like it. Gradually, over the course of several weeks, the little areas of acne-free skin began to spread… until eventually, her whole face was acne-free.
You’ve probably heard the expression: “Whatever you focus on, that’s what expands.” This story is a very literal example of that concept. Focus on the angry red pimples, and they expand. Focus on the clear parts of your skin, and they expand.
This is so logical, when you think about it. If you’re constantly barking cruel words—“So ugly,” “Gross,” “I hate you”—to your reflection in the mirror, that’s only going to cause more inflammation, agitation, tension, and pain—both physical and emotional. Hate doesn’t heal. Love does.
As a kid, if you bumped your knee, maybe your mom would plant her lips on the hurt part and “kiss it better.” Mommy would press unconditional love right into your skin. You can give that same healing love to yourself.
You can’t hate it better. But you can love it better.
Love will transform every inch of your life.
PS. If you’re rolling your eyes with skepticism about this story, if you’re thinking, “She cured her acne with ‘love’…? C’mon. That’s bullshit”… then I’d like to mention that I’ve heard similar versions of this story from hundreds of clients over the years. Love heals. It heals inflamed skin, aching backs, businesses, marriages… I’ve seen the evidence. And if you’re still skeptical, all I can say is… Try it. It costs nothing except a little faith. And the rewards are worth more than millions.