December 8, 2019

“Is she a girl…or a mom?”

At my gym, there was a group of college-aged boys lifting weights with their trainer. Nearby, there was a gorgeous woman—about 30—doing squats and deadlifts.

The boys kept staring at this woman. Captivated and mesmerized by her…assets. In hushed tones, one of the boys gestured at the woman and asked his trainer, “Hey, is she a girl? Or a mom?”

The trainer, shocked and appalled by this question, replied, “Um, excuse me? She’s neither. She’s a woman.”

Girl—or mom? There’s so much subtext in this question.

In other words—is she a “girl” (aka: young, desirable, valuable, available for men’s pleasure and entertainment)—or a “mom” (aka: old, undesirable, less valuable, unavailable to amuse me). 

As if a woman’s “market value” declines once she’s had a kid. Uh. WTF.

These boys have a seriously twisted attitude about women. Why? Because they’ve grown up in a world that places women into rigid categories: girl or mom, madonna or whore, wife material or slut (or not a slut, but rather, a dried up old prune), high value or low value. 

This kind of labeling is not acceptable.

We need to educate our sons—and make sure they know better.

We need to call out boys and men when they make inappropriate comments—not just “let it slide” or say, “oh, boys will be boys.” 

And we need to stop making the word “mom” a derogatory slur. Like how we say “mom jeans” when we mean, “frumpy, unflattering jeans.” Nope. “Mom jeans” should mean: “the hottest, most inspiring, and most powerful demin pants on earth.”

Regardless of your age or fertility status, regardless of whether you’re a parent or not: you are valuable beyond imagining. Regardless of what any ignorant boys may think. 

And if I run into those boys during my next workout? They better watch the hell out—because a 5’3” feminist firestorm is coming their way, with some re-education and 10,000 watts of mom-power. I can’t wait to watch them shaking in their Nikes. Lol.

Go make a scene this week, ladies. Speak up and act out. Get out there and create the world you want to live in—instead of settling for the world “as it is.”

I’ll be right there with you.

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