“You see it all around you, good lovin’ gone bad.” 38 Special
As most of you know, I have been married for 20 years — despite snoring, unruly teenagers and other forms of trauma. And I’ve been very open about the fact that during years 5 and 7, I wanted to smother Scott with a pillow in his sleep. We are living proof that you can create the relationship and love life you want if you deal with your own stuff.
And while I’m no Christian Grey (that role belongs to Jamie Dornan — drool!) I’ve learned a thing or two about keeping the spark alive.
Here are my top 5 tips on how to have a racy, red-hot love affair with your huzzzbinnn or partner, of any gender.
1. MAKE A “SEXY BOOK.”
For one week, keep track of everything you love and find sexy about your partner. Write it all down in a journal.
Could be … the shape of his smile (or a’hem, other things). The crinkle by her eyes when she laughs. The fact that he took out the trash. The way she protects and takes care of your kids.
Whatever lights you up, jot it down.
When you’re feeling not-so-lovey-dovey, refer to your Sexy Book. You’ll remember why you chose him. (Or her.)
Re-create the energy that you felt when you first started dating — even if it feels “fake” or “silly.”
Flirt like you’ve got something to prove. Send saucy texts and photos. (Even my celebrity boyfriend Keith Urban does it.) Make an iTunes mixtape. Write awkward poetry.
Oh, and … go on a real date. The kind that lasts all night.<
3. READ FIFTY SHADES OF GREY.
Out loud. To each other. Just trust me on this. (Ok, if you are a “50 hater” then pick up some other erotica book. Sheesh!)<
Get some. Make it hot. Make it match.<
5. MACA LOVE.
Drink green smoothies blended with maca powder — it tastes like malt powder and boosts your libido.
My favorite new recipe? Raw cacao, baby kale, banana, almond milk, honey and maca. Yello!
Oh, and one more thing …<
6. HAVE SEX and LOTS OF IT.
With your phone off. The door locked. And the laptop shut.