It’s a conversation I’ve had hundreds of times with hundreds of people.
It’s a simple premise, but often, so tough to grasp.
If you want to lose weight, and never gain it back, you have to be nice to yourself. You have to gentle and kind. You have to treat yourself with love.
For many people, this is a mind-twisting concept.
“Treat myself with… love? I don’t deserve love! I’m disgusting! I need to get strict, controlled. If I start thinking all these ‘nice’ and ‘loving’ thoughts, I’ll go soft. I’ll wind up with no discipline. I’ll get even fatter.”
When people express these kinds of fears, I know they’re confused about what I mean when I say “love.”
True love is not soft.
True love has tough edges.
True love is a protector, but not a punisher.
You can love your best friend, with all of the tenderness in the world, but when she raises that bottle of booze to her lips after twenty years of sobriety — you’re not going to be soft. You’re going to smack that bottle right out of her hands and hustle her ass to an AA meeting before she can even protest. That’s love.
You can love your teenage son, unconditionally, but when he asks for a tattoo of a cartoon Marijuana leaf riding a skateboard on his chest — you’re not going to be soft. You’re going to say, “Abso-fucking-lutely not. You’ll thank me later.” That’s love.
You can love yourself, deeply and absolutely, but when you’re heading for the fridge at midnight searching for food you’re not really hungry for — you’re not going to be soft. You’re going to say to yourself, “Overeating doesn’t feel like an act of love right now. It feels like an act of punishment. An act of self-violence. It’s not happening. Not tonight.” That’s love.
You can treat yourself with love, even if you don’t love how you look.
Whether you are 10 pounds over your ideal weight, or 100 pounds, or more… you can speak kindly and encouragingly to yourself. You can surround yourself with positive messages, positive coaches, a positive community. You can choose to speak about your body with positive words, instead of disdain.
When you give yourself this kind of love and encouragement, it is 1,000% easier to make consistently good choices about when to eat, what to eat, and how much to eat.
Just like it is 1,000% easier to ace a job interview when you walk into the room thinking “I rock” rather than “I suck.”
Don’t continue your weight loss journey with a head full of hate. You won’t get far.
In all likelihood, you’ll wind up giving up and gaining more.
Shift into love.
I am here to help… and I’ve created something for you.
Join me on October 22nd for a free introduction to The Weight School: where women go for permanent weight loss.
Let me introduce you to the power of love. True love. Tough love.
The kind of love that says “absolutely not” and slams the fridge door shut.
The kind of love that wants to protect you, not punish you.
The kind of love that wants the best for you…
… and the best possible body for you.
October 22nd. 11am Pacific. Online. Circle the date & don’t miss it.
So much love,
PS. Continue the conversation here