March 31, 2019

Get your hopes up.

You know how people often say, “Don’t get your hopes up…” Annoying.


Why not?




Get them way the hell UP.

Hoist up that hope-flag and let it flap in the wind! Allow yourself to feel excited! Allow yourself to overflow with hope and optimism!


The worst thing that will happen is… later, you might feel disappointed.


You can handle it.


You can handle all of your emotions—intense joy, intense grief, boredom, loneliness, curiosity, everything.


You’re a human being. You were wired to experience a rainbow spectrum of emotions, not just a couple of carefully selected Crayons.


It’s dangerous and disempowering to tell yourself, “I won’t allow myself to feel hopeful because later I might be disappointed and I CANNOT HANDLE DISAPPOINTMENT without turning to booze/cookies/waffle fries/whatever.”


Yes you can. You are strong enough to handle it. Don’t tell yourself otherwise.


Me? I really want my new book BARE to be an international best seller.


I really want my daughter Cora to realize her dream of going away to a University of her choice (it’s looking good y’all).

I really want the last couple seats of BARE Coach Certification to get filled up.


I really want to beat my personal record in my Peloton.


I want. I crave. I work. I strive. I aim high. I go for it. I make a scene. I meet, exceed, or fall short. I celebrate. I pick up the pieces. I begin again.


I feel it all—the exhilaration of victory, the bitterness of knowing that I could have done better, the serenity that comes along with knowing that I truly gave my best effort regardless of the final outcome.


I’m human. I have cravings. I have desires. To me, leading a satisfying life isn’t about “denying” or “suppressing” or “downplaying” certain things (“I don’t want that; I don’t feel that”) but rather, embracing everything with courageous honesty (“I want that so fucking much; I am hurt; I am hopeful; I am lost; I am back on track”).


To paraphrase Dr. Brene Brown, “Numbing our emotions is damaging because you can’t numb fear without numbing joy at the same time.”


Don’t numb out. Don’t downsize your joy.


Sometimes, simply admitting “I AM SO HAPPY!”—in a society that deems it “uncool” to feel things too intensely—is a supreme act of bravery.


Be uncool.


Show up and feel what you feel.






​​​​​​PS. I’m hosting the Official Bare Book Club and IT STARTS MONDAY (4/1-4/5) join thousands of women in a private Facebook community spending 5 days with me going through the 7-step Bare Method (and winning killer prizes, of course). 

Click here to register – we’ll send the details!  



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